


I need You

by kirsty_booth



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Action & Romance, Drama, Drug Use, F/M, PTSD Sherlock, Romance, post series 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 18:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 25,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2357765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirsty_booth/pseuds/kirsty_booth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set 4 months after the end of Sherlock Series 3.  Sherlock hasn't made any break through on the Moriarty case, was it all a set-up? He is also struglling after what he been through the last few years, but with his friends around, He'll be Okay, won't he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters are owned by the BBC unless specified. 
> 
> All characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.
> 
> edited on 3/3/15 for layout

It was Sunday afternoon, and Sherlock went round to John and Mary's. John had called him up on the Friday to ask him, which surprised Sherlock as he thought Mary and John appreciated time together at the weekend. Although Sherlock wasn't going to say no to seeing his friends or God-daughter Lilly. So here he was. As he walked up the drive he could see John on the floor playing with Lilly, whilst Mary sat across the sofa, looking fast asleep. Of-course his first instinct had been right, his friends didn't have time for him; the phone call would have been made out of duty, nothing more. He'd leave, phone later and make excuses; something about having a cold and not wanting to pass it on to the baby. But as he turned John spotted him, and called out through an open window, in his usual cheerful manner.  
  
“Sherlock, where are you going? Come in.”  
  
Mary was rousing now, and came to the door.  
  
A few minutes later they were all sat down to afternoon tea, it was nearly a week since Sherlock had had a mug of tea, he really should remember to get milk on the way home. And home-made sponge cake, another rarity in his life.  
  
“So Sherlock, why did you nearly leave before?” Mary asked  
  
“Because you were asleep on the sofa, and John was obviously preoccupied with Lily. It's ok that you don't always have time for me. I understand that, and I'm more than capable of spending the weekend on my own. I actually wish my friends didn't think they had to invite me round just out of pity.”  
  
“But that's just it. We asked you here because you're our friend and we wanted to see you. Yes, our weekends are a lot busier, and sometimes we need the time together or to just relax. But that doesn't mean we never want to see our friends. And when we invite you, it's because we really want to catch up with you. You are an idiot sometimes” John was chuckling, he was probably the only person Sherlock let call him an idiot, because he was the only person who knew how true it was. When it came to this emotional stuff anyway. And the only one or put up with him when he was an idiot.  
  
“It is good to get out of the house. And the coffee and cake are tasty enough. You know I'm not used to having friends though, sometimes I get these things wrong. I will never be a burden to the pair of you.”  
  
Mary leaned across the sofa and put her hand on his “Sherlock, you wouldn't know how to be a burden, really. As John says, you're our friend, and we want to see more of you; you should just come over in the evening. I'd like to know you were getting a few decent meals at least, and I can usually supply some sort of cake.”  
  
“Also we're never out of milk.” John interjected.  
  
They all laughed, inside Sherlock felt hurt, it wasn't his fault there wasn't room in his mind palace for silly little things like grocery shopping. But he mustn't let his feelings show, that was weak.  
“Anyway, how is the case going?” Mary asked.  
  
“Oh you don't want to know about that, boring. How's my little God-daughter?”  
  
“Lily's fine, growing more every day; she can roll over on her own now. Show Uncle Sherlock your rolling gorgeous.” John said, he sat the the left of his daughter and held his arms out to her, but she didn't move.  
  
“Oh well, not today; either she's tired, or just stubborn like her Mummy. But Mary and I genuinely do want to know about the Moriarty case, you know these things interest us, nearly as much as they do you.”  
John finished speaking, and they both looked at Sherlock.  
  
“There really isn't anything to tell. I'm no closer to finding where Moriarty is. No information at all, just that video. I'm starting to wonder if he is really back. Maybe it was a hoax, either by someone trying to save me, from my six month exile, or by somebody working for Moriarty. But then I would have found them by now. I've been looking through all the newspapers, and all the stupid network websites, every day. I'll admit I don't have the talent of my blogger for this work, but I would have found something.”  
 ****Sherlock saw Mary and John exchange glances, then John said hesitantly.  
  
“Well, you just said that the computer side was more what I was good at, my role in helping you. Maybe you need a new partner, or someone assisting you at-least.” He hurried the last part because he knew that referring to the person helping Sherlock as his 'partner' would infuriate him.  
  
He was the Consulting Detective, the one person the government had asked to catch Moriarty. Although Mycroft had suggested Sherlock should get someone to help him when he had called on Thursday. And now John was suggesting it, after asking Sherlock to visit on late notice. Sherlock didn't believe in coincidences, the Holmes boys hadn't brought up to think the universe was so lazy. As he looked up he saw John and Mary were both staring at him. He got up from the sofa, “Did you think I'd be stupid enough to fall for this. My brother has been in contact, he only suggested the helper idea a few days ago. You needed to leave it longer, if I wasn't to notice when I was being coerced. I do not need anyone assisting me, the only reason I have found so little information on Moriarty, is because there is none.” His yelling was disturbing Lilly, who had been happy all afternoon, and was now bawling her eyes out.  
  
“I think she needs a nap anyway, I'll take her up upstairs, don't leave the house till I get back. We are still going to talk about this.” John said quietly but Sherlock could hear the firmness in his voice.  
  
As her husband left the room Mary sighed. “Would it really be such a bad idea to have someone helping out. Doing the work that you find boring, it might free up your mind enough to find that small bit of information that brings you closer to Moriarty. And it would be company, something else I know you don't need, but we all work better with someone to bounce ideas off sometimes. Please just think about it Sherlock.”  
  
John re-entered the room, and very quietly shut the door. “Yes, think about it Sherlock, we're suggesting it because, well with your brother paying for the extra person, what do you have to lose? And it should help you, let you be the detective while someone else does the paperwork. By the sounds of things Mycroft will just employ someone of his own choosing if you don't find someone. You're better off having some say in who you work alongside. Mary and I just want to help you come to the right decision, and actually, we do have a plan. But whatever happens, can you not yell at us again. You're really irritating when you start doing that mate.”  
  
“Yes, well I didn't mean to disturb the baby, but Mycroft frustrates me so much when he tries to take over my life. Why shouldn't I be able to continue working on my own if I want to, I got on fine before John came along.”  
  
“Were you dealing with cases as complicated as the Consulting Criminal coming back from the dead? And more importantly, didn't you prefer it when I was helping you. Anyway, just hear our, well Mary's, suggestion.” John said.  
  
“I thought when I was pregnant with Lily, that I wanted to be a stay and home mum, and with John's wage we can afford that. But the truth us, I'm getting very bored just sitting round the house, as much as I love my daughter. I need some sort of life of my own as-well, and I always thought with my skills, I'd be quite suitable for your sort of adventures; but I'm great at, and used to, paperwork too. And the money I'll be earning will help us to be able to put Lilly into nursery, or pay someone to look after her.”  
  
Sherlock was quiet for a moment, his fingers pressed against his lips, the pause of deep concentration that John knew so well. Then he moved his hands away and spoke “This could work, you have the skills need to accompany me into the crime scenes, and when we were doing all the wedding stuff, you were good on the computer. It would suit me better than letting my brother put some government spy in, to check I'm behaving myself. That's what he really wants. But I'll get one over him.” Sherlock was smiling, John and Mary just exchanged a glance rolling their eyes at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Please feedback, and feel free to critize or correct spelling / grammar.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and Mary begin to work together on the Moriarty case; after and intresting start come up with what will hopfully be a lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters are owned by the BBC unless specified
> 
> All characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.
> 
> edited for layout 3/3/15

It was a couple of weeks later when Sherlock heard the car drive up to 221B Baker Street. He knew he should go and open the door for Mary; show the enthusiasm that he really didn't feel. Mrs Hudson had done it anyway; he could hear the two of them chatting in the hall.  
  
“Morning Love. He's awake, or should be, I took him his morning tea a couple of hours ago.” He heard Mrs Hudson call out, how could anyone be so cheerful this time in the morning?  
  
“Hi, thanks again for agreeing to look after Lilly. The nursery will take her in a few months hopefully, we just need her to get started walking.”  
  
“It's fine love, anyway this way Mummy-Wummy can come and see us at lunchtime, can't she my cutie-pie.”  
  
“Yes we can, and if Lilly-Milly is very,very,very good Mummy might be able to talk Uncle Sherly into visiting too.” Mary said.  
  
Ugh there was nothing Sherlock hated more than baby talk, either they could understand English or couldn't understand it, so why bother? And Uncle Sherly? Obviously Mary assumed that Sherlock couldn't hear this conversation, and he wouldn't bring it up this time. But if he heard either Mary or John use that name again, he'd have to voice his views.

  


Mary came into his flat.  
  
“Morning.” She said.  
  
“Yes it is, your observation skills are sharp today.”  
  
“As is your tongue. How about I make us both some coffee, and we can talk about the case. I still don't really know where we're at.”  
  
Sherlock sighed, he knew he had to apologise; if he and Mary were going to be working together, it was a good idea to keep things cordial. “I'm sorry, I didn't sleep well last night. I won't have coffee, I don't drink it much when I'm working. Feel free to make your own, though the milk is probably off, I forget how long it lasts. As for the case, I don't know where I am with it. That's why you're here.” He knew it was going to be a long day, maybe taking a pill last night had been a mistake; but it was better than the alternative. Why wasn't the one he'd taken this-morning working better anyway.  
  
Mary came back carrying a mug of something, black coffee Sherlock assumed, and sat down in John's chair. Well she was his new colleague now, it was only fair.  
  
“So what do we know about Moriarty's comeback?”  
  
“Oh please don't call it a comeback. That makes him sound like one of these ageing pop-stars that keep reinventing themselves. I'm more sure every day that he isn't back at all. I saw him shoot himself in the mouth, that's extremely hard to recover from. And although I wasn't round after, I assume a proper post-mortem was carried out on the body; to check his identity and that he was dead. Much more likely he either filmed the scene before his death, for some accomplice to use when the time was right; they probably thought I was already exiled and therefore out of the way. Or a friend or some colleague of Mycroft's managed to fake the video so I would be brought back here.” Sherlock took a deep breath, he didn't want to ever tell John and Mary the truth, and really they should both be here. He couldn't keep it from Mary though, not if she was to understand his theory about the video being set up for his benefit.  
  
“It wasn't a short exile to Eastern Europe; I would have been fighting a gang of drug dealers that are responsible for half the drugs that are exported out of the country. Single handed, it should have been too much even for me. Before the Magnuson incident Mycroft warned me about the government wanting me to do this, he literally begged me to say no, because the risks were too high. But after I shot a blackmailer that nobody liked, Mycroft changed his mind; or he was talked into doing so by those around him.”  
  
“Oh Sherlock. Well, I'm glad you're still here; your country needs you. And John and I would have missed your cool wit and gorgeous presence. But I for one don't think the video could have been forged by somebody on our side. How many people knew the truth? And it was either very well edited, should have been completely impossible, or they good a very good fake Moriarty.”  
  
Sherlock was very happy with Mary's response. No hugs or crying, not even many unnecessary pleasantries. And right back to the matter in hand. Yes, he could work with Mary Watson.  
  
“So you think it's more likely that there is someone left in his network? Believe me there wasn't anyone who had possible links to Moriarty's network when I returned to England.” It wasn't possible, everything he'd been through those two years of hell, and the memories that still lingered. All for nothing, he hadn't missed anyone he knew he hadn't.  
  
“Well I know what these networks are like from my days as a assassin Sometimes there is one person, who's part is kept as insignificant as possible. Only one or two at the top even know his existence, and his sole purpose to re-build everything if it is lost. Moriarty probably had such a person. You couldn't kill them, because you didn't know they were there; otherwise they and Moriarty himself, wouldn't have been operating perfectly, which wouldn't of been like Moriarty.”  
  
Sherlock felt his temper rise. A minute ago he'd almost felt affection for Mary, not any more. Maybe it was the lack of sleep; but what she was saying was still very wrong.  
  
He yelled, and could feel his body shaking. “I thought maybe we could work together, that your expertise might even be useful to me. Obviously I was wrong, because what you just said could be more unjustified. Of-course Mycroft and I knew there could be someone in the network who'd job it was to not be in the network. We still found them, and I made sure they were killed too. The point is we Holmes brothers together, were better than Moriarty and his network. Yes I'm 100% sure there was not one person left. If you don't believe me you can just walk out the door now.” Sherlock shut his eyes. He couldn't continue like this, talking about what he'd had to do like it didn't affect him was bad enough, but the thought that he hadn't finished the job properly. But maybe he should consider that Mary was right, the hidden 'resurrection' members of any network or group were always the hardest to catch. He was going to be physically sick. He felt an arm around his back. She wasn't still here was she?  
  
Yes she was speaking to him now. “Sherlock I'm sorry, I've no idea what you went through bringing Moriarty's network down. Maybe I should have done, more than anyone else in your life; but I still don't, not really. I do know what's like to shoot someone through, and even if they are the worst type of criminal and totally deserve it, it still marks you. God I needed so much counselling when I left the CIA, and you've never had since Reinbacch or Magnuson, have you? So I'm sorry that I said the wrong thing just now; but if we are going to get to the bottom of the Moriarty problem, we need think that there is a the chance that he is still around. Or at-least still has people that believe in him. Maybe they weren't even recruited to the network till after Moriarty's death, therefore had very few links in a short time to the network. And I'm not leaving you now. That outburst proved more than anything else that you can't solve this case on your own. I'll be here to support you when it gets tough if nothing else.”  
  
Sherlock only now slowly opened his eyes, he could feel his hands trembling, he wasn't that scared was he? Mary was right though, he'd become too determined it had to be faked video by someone to keep him in England, because the other options for too chilling for him to even think about. But he had to admit, faking that video would have taken a lot of work, and Mycroft swore the only other people who knew about his exile, were a handful of politicians that wanted to see the back of him. Mycroft could of gotten someone to make the video, but that wasn't his style somehow. Maybe, just maybe, Moriarty still had people doing his work.  
  
“Thank you Mary. You're right of-course, the thought that I went through two years, apart from all my friends, having to do things I never thought I would do. If I did all that and still leave someone alive in the network, it is slightly unbelievable. But there is a possibility that I have this case all wrong and Moriarty; or someone who believes in what he always believed in is behind, and that really does put back at square one. I think I need a glass of water before we start coming up with a plan.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Mary knew most people would complain about somebody asking them to get them a glass of water when they were so near the kitchen. But Mary also understood Sherlock needed a moment or two by himself. Plus she was used to abrasive manner, she'd stand up for herself when it was necessary, oh she definitely would take any bull-shit from him. She also knew the times when it was better to just not argue, they needed a good relationship. She could do with the time in the kitchen anyway. Mycroft was really prepared to send Sherlock to a mission that would kill him, or scar him even more than he obviously was? She was sure that Mycroft had done what he could to save his brother; he loved his Sherlock, despite the Holmes' detached manner. But why had given into the pressure of his colleagues eventually. If he had no other option, he could of at-least warned Sherlock's friends, or told him to tell them. They should have been supporting him more before his exile.  
  
Also Sherlock had started to show his emotions more, about what happened to bring down Moriarty's network, was it also the act of killing Magnuson? He was obviously really hurting, Mary wasn't sure if it was right to press him for details or not. Sometimes it was better not to talk about these things, eventually you almost forgot them. On the other hand, Sherlock really sounded like he wasn't coping. Could she and John deal with the story themselves, if they could persuade Sherlock to open up that much; or did he need professional help? She'd have to watch Sherlock closely and decide, for now she needed to get back with the glass of water, and try again to work on the case. 

  


Sherlock was pacing the room. “Here's your water.” Mary said, pass Sherlock the glass.  
  
“I'm going to go to my mind palace, I need to try and work out if I have any information of Moriarty held there. I think I've been pretending his was gone, so perhaps blocking the vital clue away.”  
“Ok, shall I have a look on the internet while your thinking?” Mary asked, going to the laptop; John had warned her, that could he be away for hours in his mind palace, and she needed to be doing something, that's why she'd wanted the job. She started searching for news-stories that might point to what Moriarty was up to. Something slightly out of the ordinary, that hadn't been solved. It was boring work; after a couple of hours she'd found nothing. Normally she would have some music to break the silence and monotony, but she thought that would disturb Sherlock. He was still pacing the room, with his eyes shut, which was distracting for her. One more page of google results, and she'd stop for lunch. Mary suddenly realised she might have found something. It was in an Irish newspaper. She didn't think it had made the English media, which is why Sherlock had missed it, but it had a ring of Moriarty about it.  
  
It was dated 5 months ago, a month before Moriarty's video. _Samantha Boyle, an 18 year old Computer Science student at Trinity College, has not been seen since April 16th, when she was going to meet Richie Walters, a man she had met through a dating site. They were going to meet at the Royal Lion pub, and Samantha promised her friends she would be contact throughout the day, and back to her lodging by evening; but has not been in contact since leaving that morning. If anyone thinks they have seen Samantha, or knows her where-abouts, or any information on Richie, please contact the police. Her parents and friends are concerned and would like to know Samantha is alright._ There was a photo with the article, of a slightly over-weight teenager of chin length brown hair.  
  
What really pricked Mary's interest was the guy's name Richie Waters, sound a lot like Richard Brook, and hadn't John once told her that Moriarty had an Irish accent? Maybe he had gone back to the homeland, to be more away from the English media and government. It had nearly worked if that was the case, this story might never have been picked up on. She printed it off, the hum of the printer causing Sherlock to open his eyes.  
  
“Sorry, but I think the article I've found is worth your attention anyway. Even if it doesn't mean anything it's given me a fresh perspective on where Moriarty could be hiding out. Have a read while I make us some sandwiches for lunch. I assume there is bread somewhere in the kitchen.” She said as she got the paper from the printer and handed it to Sherlock.  
“Actually no bread, just ask Mrs Hudson, she can get us a couple from the cafe next door.”  
“I'll go, no need to bother Mrs Hudson who's looking after Lilly. I could do with fresh air actually. Any particular filling?”  
“Doesn't matter, they all taste very similar to me” Sherlock replied.  
So Mary went down to Speedys.

  


She came back, after getting lunch and popping in to see Lilly and Mrs Hudson. “I got two baguettes, one bacon, one cheese because I didn't know which you preferred.”  
“I'll have the cheese.”  
  
That article you found could be useful. I'm still not convinced, Moriarty has never played to his Irish heritage before. And it's very circumstantial, we don't know if this girl has turned up after a short holiday with her boyfriend. But it's worth following up.”  
Sherlock said as he took a bite of his baguette, Mary did the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Please feedback, and feel free to critize or correct spelling / grammar.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock Holmes doesn't 'do' parties, and when he does there are often repercussions. Also how dependant is he on his 'pills' and why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters are owned by the BBC unless specified
> 
> All characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.
> 
> edited for layout 3/3/15

Sherlock sat on a wall outside Molly's flat scowling. Why had he let Mary talk him into this stupid party? She kept on telling Sherlock how much Molly wanted him here, and how it would do him good; eventually he'd said yes just to get away from the nagging. He wished he didn't have a woman in his life so much now, telling him to attend parties, was he eating properly? And why was there no milk in his fridge? But he'd actually needed her on that Monday morning; someone to make him realise Moriarty might still around. Then that article she'd found; Sherlock had to admit he hadn't found it, she was just good at the computer stuff Sherlock hated. Anyway they'd had some laughs this week, maybe even he did need company sometimes. Which is why he thought he'd please everyone and come here tonight; better than just another night with his own thoughts. But that had been a mistake. John and Mary were inside talking to some bigwig consultant that John needed to impress. Sherlock had managed to remove himself from the group before he said something everyone but he would regret. He'd come out here for the solitude; though his hands were shaking slightly in the cold. It was easier to make a quick gate-away from here too, and he was expecting a text which would mean he'd do just that. He could hear raised voices coming from the inside, oh good someone else was making the scene instead of him for once.  
  
Molly stormed through the back doors of the house; “this is supposed to be my party, a chance to celebrate my birthday with my friends. I'm not letting you ruin it.” Molly was clearly upset and emotional, and facing her was her ex fiancé , what was his name again? Tim? Terry? No Tom that was it.  
  
It was Tom who was yelling now. “If this party is meant to be for your friends, and we are still friends, which you have insisted on since you dumped me; then why didn't you invite me? So you could get off with your next conquest I suppose; well I hope he knows he's second best. Oh wait no; the man it has always been is here, and we all know Sherlock Holmes doesn't do parties.”  
  
Molly took a deep breath, but it didn't do much to calm her voice down. “I've already explained, I thought you were away on business, that conference in America that was over my birthday for the last two years. Also I wasn't sure if you'd want to come. And yeah I wanted to avoid a scene like this if I could. I didn't end our engagement because I had found someone else, I keep telling you that. Sherlock is here as a friend, he's been a real friend to me since our split. I'd rather you didn't bring him or your wild allegations into this. Just leave please!”  
  
“Make me!” Tom almost spat at Molly.  
  
There was a big crowd around them, but no-one else was intervening. Sherlock, went round the back of Tom and grabbed his left wrist.  
  
“Molly is too kind to make anyone do anything, I on the other hand am not.”  
  
Tom turned round, threw glass that was in his right hand to the ground, chucking the wine into Sherlock face. He then threw a punch which landed on Sherlock's left eye. Sherlock aimed his punch at Tom's stomach, Tom bent down over winded, but managed to kick out hitting Sherlock's shins. Before Sherlock could make another move, there were two colleagues of Molly, one each had one of Tom's arms; dragging him away from the flat.  
  
Sherlock managed to make it back to his bit of wall before he sat down, almost collapsing with the post-adrenaline low, and realising how much his legs and face hurt. There were people crowding round Sherlock; asking him irritating questions, like was he alright, of-course he wasn't but he wouldn't admit that to a total stranger. Molly came up beside him  
  
“Sherlock, I'm so sorry for what Tom said, and the way he hurt you. Why don't you come to my bathroom? it's a bit more private and I can clean up your face there.” She took his hand, and helped him away to her bathroom.  
  
“Never apologise for someone else's action unless you're directly responsible for them. You're definitely not for Tom since you ended the relationship. I don't believe couples should have to take that responsibility for each other anyway.”  
  
“No, but he was in my house, and he used to be my friend. I guess tonight I realised he wasn't that anymore, and probably won't be again. I meant what I said before, about you being a really good friend since the split. You haven't said a lot, but that isn't what I needed. Whenever you were in Barts, you were checking if I was ok; listening to me ramble on. Then tonight, you were brilliant.” Molly said hiccuping back the tears, she finished wiping Sherlock's face with flannel, and soaked it under cold water, then put onto Sherlock eye. “Hold this there while I get an ice-pack from the kitchen”  
  
Sherlock took the flannel away from his face, he didn't mind the pain from the bruise. He'd suffered much worse bruises without any relief. He looked at Molly as he spoke; how had he never noticed how attractive she was when she made an effort before. “I don't often repeat myself, but I'll make an exception this time and repeat what I said a few years ago, you have always counted Molly. You are a beautiful person inside, and tonight you don't look to bad on the outside either. You deserve someone who will treat you like a princess; and even when you were together I never saw Tom do that.” He took her hand and looked into her eyes, so she could see he was serious. Molly leaned forward into him, and their lips touched. So this is was what kissing felt like? Or could; he'd kissed girls before, even Jainine a few times. This electricity that was flowing through him, that had ever been there before, he wanted more of it, to go deeper and didn't care where it lead to. Molly suddenly let go. “Sherlock I'm sorry that wasn't meant to happen. I'm so sorry.” She went running out of the room.  
  
Sherlock's first thought had been to go running after her, but maybe that wasn't the right decision. He'd really enjoyed the kissing, and he'd always liked Molly Hopper, but could he really be in a relationship with her? Could he be good enough for her? He headed back outside, noticing a glass of wine someone had left on the floor. He picked it up thinking of taking it back to the kitchen. Then he stopped, maybe he'd drink some; it might help him sleep, which Sherlock wouldn't mind tonight. Plus they said alcohol produced a deep sleep, maybe the dreams wouldn't come, no nightmares to wake up scared for his life or sickened by what he had seen and done. Sherlock suddenly put the glass down with a jerk; no his brain suddenly reminded how dangerous pills and alcohol could be together. He's taken one just before he came out, he'd take another when he got home, and that would stop the dreams. Sherlock ran out of the house and called a cab before he did anything else stupid.

  


A couple of hours later, he checked his phone again, whilst pacing his room. Billy still hadn't replied. Sherlock groaned, he wished he wasn't reliant on his friend for his pills. Caffeine pills weren't actually illegal; he could just buy them from the internet. But he wanted to be sure of what he was getting. He liked given the custom to Billy anyway; he was meant to be Sherlock's protege after all. Also someone might see the deliveries come in, especially now Mary was around so much. Mycroft was probably checking everything he did online. No this way better, but now he'd taken his last pill and had to have a new supply before tomorrow. He wasn't addicted but he needed them in the morning, if he'd gone the night without sleep. Now he had to calm down, he'd go into his mind palace, concentrate on the Moriarty case. Or Molly, he should take the time to think what he wanted to do after the kiss; to pursue her, or leave her alone. He wanted her more than he had wanted any woman before, but he knew she'd be better off without him. Sherlock was not going to think about the time in Serbia when he'd witnessed twenty people get beheaded. Bad people, but they still had families. There had been so much blood from the first one, by the last Sherlock thought it might have felt normal. What it actually felt was slightly surreal yet he knew it had really happened. And the noises of the screaming and crying, other peoples emotions didn't usually affect him, but that then it had. No he mustn't think about that night, about any of it,; it made him want to be sick until he had cleansed his body from all he had taken in that day. That was why he took the pills; it was meant to be easier to keep his thoughts away from there while he was awake. This was one of the rooms in his mind-palace he always found very hard to close though. If he could stop himself from running for the bathroom, he'd think the night a success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Please feedback, and feel free to critize or correct spelling / grammar.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the party; will Sherlock decide to enter a relationship with Molly or not?  
> And is his dependnce on pills affecting his friendships?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters are owned by the BBC unless specified
> 
> All characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.
> 
> Edited for layout 4/3/15

Sherlock paced around his bedroom. He felt more and more recently like he couldn't keep still; he blamed it on the Moriarty case. It was making him so nervous that there was someone out there who knew everything he'd done; these people had already tried to kill him 3 times before his brother brought him back to England. No, he wasn't going to start that again; he had spent far too much of the night thinking of those times. Sherlock picked up the photo of Molly he'd found earlier. It was from that Christmas party in 2010; he couldn't remember who had taken it and given it to him. He also didn't know why he had kept it all these years, but that was irrelevant now. Molly had looked beautiful that night; Sherlock had been taken aback when he first saw her, which is why he had assumed it was for some new man. None of the men there were worthy of her, apart from John and he'd been with whatever-her-name was. That was one of the few scenes he'd caused that he regretted; Molly deserved to be treated so much better than he'd treated her that night. How different would things be now if they'd been together for so long. But then 4 years ago; he wasn't interested in love and friendship. Now he wouldn't be perfect boyfriend material, but he would possibly be an acceptable partner for Molly. He wanted more kissing like earlier; even though Sherlock felt as if he was losing control of his emotions as they'd kissed, he'd liked it so much; was it going to become a new addiction? But he also wanted to protect Molly from the men she usually went for that hurt her so much. And possibly protect her from Moriarty if he was back. But he knew it might be a decision he regretted. Was he really ready to handle the emotions involved with being in a relationship with someone? And this Moriarty case; he needed to keep a level head to find him; and beat for once and for all. And he needed to keep Moriarty away from Molly; he'd underestimated her last time. Or had Moriarty had real feelings for her? Either way, he wouldn't be so stupid a second time. Sherlock sighed; he'd have to leave this relationship till things were calmer. Did he need to say anything to Molly? That would only upset her more, maybe if he just ignored her for a few months; she'd been one to run out on him yesterday anyway. 

  


Sherlock heard John's footsteps coming up to the front door. He grabbed his mobile, it's wasn't even nine yet; what was John even doing awake? And still no text from Billy; didn't his friend understand how important these pills were to Sherlock. He put his phone into his pocket, he should go and open the door, Mrs Hudson wouldn't appreciate being woken up at such an hour at the weekend.  
  
They sat down in their usual chairs and John spoke; “ I thought I'd see you again at the party last night, but you left early; or at-least no-one could find you.”  
“You know those occasions bore me, and I felt out of place. After the fight with Tom; which I'm sure you heard about, everyone was bothering around me like I was some sort of hero. I took off back here for some peace.”  
  
“Is that all? Nothing to do with kissing Molly?”  
  
So this is what it was about, Molly had told John or probably Mary, about their kiss, and now his friend thought he needed advice “It seemed a good time to leave, I'd caused enough drama for one night. I wanted to think about what had happened between Molly and I, and if this was something I wanted to pursue.”  
“And?”  
  
Sherlock thought, minutes before John had come he had been convinced he would be better leaving Molly alone. But why should he? Everyone thought Sherlock Holmes couldn't handle a relationship; even his best friend obviously thought he needed help; maybe he'd prove them wrong.  
“I enjoyed the kiss. More than I thought I would. There was definitely, some chemistry there. I know it's a cliché, but it's appropriate here. So although I haven't decided on my next steps yet, I think I will enter a romantic relationship with Molly, if that's what she wants of-course. “  
  
“That's great. There is nothing Mary and I want to see more than the two you happy together. But, as this is something new for you, I'm sure you wouldn't mind some advice. Firstly, last night, it would have been nice if you'd gone after Molly, or at-least waited for her to return. Told her that you'd enjoyed the kiss, even if you hadn't decided on much else, you could have told her that just needed time to think it over. Running off just made it seem like you hated it, and couldn't face seeing her.”  
  
Sherlock interrupted; “I didn't 'run off', I went to find Molly. When I couldn't, I decided it was more sensible for me to come home. I spent most of the night thinking about this, so this morning I'm in a much better frame of mind to talk to Molly about our relationship. Which is between the two of us, we don't need any interfering.” Sherlock's hands were doing that weird shaking thing that happened when he was stressed; well is it any wonder when his best friend couldn't give him the intelligence to work out his relationships on his own.  
  
“Mate, I really think you need advice if you don't want to muck this up. It's ok, we can't all be brilliant at everything. You're great at solving crime, and using your brain. But relationships with people, not quite so good. ”  
  
Sherlock felt his phone go off in his pocket, he knew it had to be Billy finally texting him, he needed to get to the meeting, and out of this awkward situation with John.  
“Seriously Molly and I will be fine, I'll sort this out my way in my time. Right now I have somewhere I need to be for the Moriarty case; Mary knows about it and why it needs to be done today.” He got up and opened the front door.  
  
John didn't move. “Why did she tell me to come round here now then?”  
  
“Well I told her, she must have forgotten. I've listened to your useless advice, and now it's time for us both to leave.” Sherlock tried to keep his breathing level; he knew he was being unrealisable; but he had to meet Billy before those pills were sold to someone else. Also he really didn't want the relationship advice his friend was trying to offer him. He grabbed John's hand and pulled him off the chair, as John left the flat Sherlock could hear him muttering under his breathe; but he didn't care.

  


Half an hour later Sherlock was sat in a cheap cafe with Billy opposite him. He would've have been happy for a quick transaction on the street, but Billy insisted it looked more natural if they met in public like this. More to the point it meant he could get a decent meal on Sherlock. It also did give Sherlock a chance to fill Billy in on the Moriarty case, he could use his friend's associates.  
  
“So we think he is probably in Ireland. I'm still to be fully convinced, but it does begin to explain why it's been so hard to track him down in the UK. Do you have anyone there who can get information for you?”  
  
Billy put another mouthful of beans in his mouth. “Mate, my network reaches into Europe. But why Ireland, and what's he doing there.”  
  
“The why, because his family and heritage probably gave him some connection. It means he can work more secretly than he could here, where the government and I would be on his tail. The what, no idea yet, possibly something to do with the political situation; I need to research that more. Or just causing anarchy for fun.”  
  
“He could just be minding his own of-course. Not saying he wasn't a bad one before, just you don't know he's up to anything now.”  
  
Sherlock got up to leave the table shouting. “He tried to have me in-prisoned for murder, and then when that didn't work; he forced me into what he thought was committing suicide, he doesn't know how not to be up to something.” The whole cafe was staring at them, so much for being natural.  
  
“Calm down Sherl, you're not taking too many of those pills are you? I'm just trying to help you figure what might be going on. And helping you consider all the possible scenarios. You have to admit he's doing a good job of keeping things out of the press, even over there. Just one tiny article isn't it?”  
  
“Yes well,” Sherlock sat down again, pausing, this was the problem his mind-palace couldn't help him with. “He was always good at getting the press to do what he wanted, had reporters in his pocket before.”  
  
Billy shrugged. “Maybe you're right, you always are. But don't get to settled on this Ireland idea. I'd better be moving, other deals to do this-morning.”  
  
As Sherlock took two tablets out of the bottle in his pocket and swallowed them with the left of dregs of coffee in Billy's mug. As he left the coffee shop, he decided that he'd go and visit Molly; show everyone who thought he couldn't handle a relationship. He'd even buy her some flowers on the way.

  


Later he walked up to the her flat and rang the bell.  
  
“Sherlock, I wasn't sure if I'd see you today. Thank-you, I'd invite you in, but you know, I'm still clearing up after last night.” Molly said taking the flowers.  
  
Sherlock smiled at her. “I thought I'd come and apologise if you thought I ran off off on you last night. I was a bit tired and in a bad mood after the fight. I'm happy to help with the clearing up; your guests should be helping with the work.” Sherlock couldn't think of a worse way to be spending his Saturday, but he needed this to work; or he'd always have his friends on his back about it.  
  
Molly spoke slowly, as if she was trying to take in what Sherlock had just said. “Ok, thank-you, people did offer last night; but the whole night just felt like a disaster so I wanted them to leave. You could clear some of the rubbish while I find a vase for these, if you wouldn't mind.”  
  
They stepped into the house; Sherlock saw a half full bin liner in the doorway so continued where Molly had left off, following her into the kitchen. “If it was a disaster none of it was your fault; you didn't even invite Tom to the party; the way he acted was most certainly nothing to do with you. As for the fight, I might have been at fault there, but he was asking for trouble. And what happened between us after the fight wasn't anyone's fault, or a disaster”  
  
“Did you enjoy it then, the kiss” Molly asked blushing.  
  
Sherlock put his bag of rubbish down.“Yes, it was like nothing I've ever felt before. I think you and I could have really good chemistry. We need to consider giving this relationship a go. I might not be the perfect boyfriend, but I'm willing to learn.”  
  
“I've been told before, that I'm a good teacher. You'll be better than some my ex boyfriends. Remember Jim” Molly suddenly stopped, realising what she'd said.  
  
Sherlock her hand; “I won't pretend it's easy to think of you falling for Moriarty, or that you have a string of exes. But we all have a past, and I will try and treat you better than they did.” It really hurt him that she had dated Moriarty, that she'd been so taken in by him. But he needed to say the right thing here; he wanted this conversation to go perfectly to prove his friends wrong; and because it suited him. He wanted Molly to be happy with him.  
  
“I'm so sorry, see you're not the only one who says the wrong thing sometimes. I don't have a lot of exes I promise you, and you're right about everyone having a past. Right now I just see my future, and you're the only one in it.” Molly blushed deep red, and then looked at her knees, afraid she'd said the wrong thing. Sherlock took her face in his hands, and brought towards his own. The kisses were slower this time, and Sherlock felt happier than had ever on drugs; whatever he needed to do to keep Molly Hooper, he would do it. Always.

  


Sherlock left Molly's flat late that afternoon and decided to walk back to Baker Street. He was still buzzing after the kisses. They had also spent time just chatting about family and work. Sherlock hadn't felt this level of intimacy with anyone for so long, not even with his best friend. Sherlock felt safer now than he had ages too; Molly would look out for him just as vice-versa. Maybe this was the cure for his nightmares and memories. He'd keep taking the pills for now, just in case. Sherlock suddenly turned his head, he'd thought he'd seen someone behind him. He couldn't see anyone though, it was just his brain imagining bad things because of the Moriarty threat again that's all. Or maybe a side-effect of the caffeine pills; he'd check that out when he got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Please feedback, and feel free to critize or correct spelling / grammar.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When friends and family find out our secrets they want to act.
> 
> Lucky for Sherlock, he doesn't need friends then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters are owned by the BBC unless specified
> 
> All characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.
> 
> edited for layout 4/3/15

Sherlock didn't sleep on the Sunday night, which was good because it meant no dreams but his thoughts had been equally bad. Remembering one night when he'd been captured in Serbia. He had been beaten almost beyond feeling; pain he never thought was possible; just remembering it made him feel pains in arms and legs again. The whole time Sherlock just reminded himself that his friends were safe because of what he was doing, and Moriarty's network was nearer closure. Now the first was true – and he'd still do anything to keep it that way; but the latter maybe wasn't even right. He just didn't know anymore, and it made him feel so useless. He wasn't good enough for his friends anyway he didn't know why they put up with him; the one important thing he'd had to do in life and he'd failed it. On the outside he was still Sherlock Holmes, the great Consulting Detective; second greatest brain in England (Mycroft was slightly cleverer just because he was elder). But since his return to London more than ever this was a facade; he dare not let anyone in, let them see how broken he was or what it was that scared him so much. He couldn't even tell them how guilty he felt about what happened with Magnuson, how all the nightmares had gotten worse since then. His 'friends' would never understand what he'd done, or how it affected him; and he wanted them to have their sheltered lives, why should they have this guilt as-well? So why had he let himself get into a relationship with Molly, one of the the most caring, and soft hearted people he knew? It had started as a chance to show John, Mary and everyone else who was bothering him that he could have a relationship with a woman. But those soft kisses now meant so much to Sherlock, the one time he felt happy. And when they had talked, Sherlock had thought about letting her into his dark places one day. But now he knew that wouldn't happen. He'd continue with the relationship not because he deserved the happiness that he felt when with Molly. But because she did, and maybe this could become something good that he could do for someone else. Suddenly Sherlock's phone bleeped; he groaned a text from his brother, before 9 in the morning was not good.  
  
 _We need to meet, the car will pick you up in half an hour. M_  
  
Why did his brother suddenly need to see him? More information on the case, hopefully it was important. It meant that he'd be out of the flat before Mary arrived which was good; she'd be full of how things had gone with Molly. And John's visit on Saturday, why had he kicked his friend out like that? Being his normal annoying self. He'd apologise as best he could, and offer to do lots of babysitting. Now he could get Molly to help him that, and they could cuddle on the sofa, or whatever couples did, while Lilly slept. That brought a slight smile to Sherlock's face. He quickly got up and realised he didn't have time for breakfast, but grabbed a quick glass of water and a couple of pills, before he heard the horn of the car Mycroft had sent for him . He tried to take just one in the morning, but he thought he'd need more to get through today somehow. Especially as his headache was splitting; he'd been getting more headaches recently and they were getting worse.

  


He walked into Mycroft's office later. His brother had a dis-approving look about him; what had Sherlock done now?  
  
“I trust you had a pleasant weekend Sherlock.” Mycroft asked  
  
Sherlock thought; meeting Billy on Saturday, they must have been spotted, how was going to get out of this. “Just spent it with friends.” He answered with a shrug.  
  
“You know what I think of your 'friends' brother mine. Caring is not an advantage. Ever. But you can't seem to get that into your little head can you. Three times this weekend, you were seen at the flat of one” Mycroft looked down at his papers. “Molly Hooper; and on Saturday, you even bought her flowers.”  
  
Sherlock took a couple of quick breathes, so he didn't know about the caffeine pills. Well that was something. “Oh my God Mycroft, why do you insist on having your people spy on me all the time? I'm a grown man, just as intelligent as you. I need to be able to live my own life, make my own choices. I'm not doing drugs, so be grateful for that and stop tracking me. Secondly, You know exactly who Molly is; she's the pathologist who helped us save my life, that's how much she care about me. I know the Holmes motto and I've tried to live by it; I couldn't do much else with reminding me of it every time we met. But I'm beginning to understand it's wrong. Caring about good people; the sort that cares about you in return, is a positive thing. It's helps think about the conscience of your actions; it's the reason I'm clean now.” Sherlock paused, he could feel his anger rising in his body. His hands and feet were twitching. He had to stay in control, he couldn't lose it in-front of his brother. Mycroft would only say Sherlock was on drugs again anyway. Deep breaths, and slowing down his speech should help. “It also gives me another reason to be good at my job. Wanting the world to be a better place for me and my friends to live in, and they trust me which makes me lift my game. So yes I am now romantically involved with the best woman I know, I'm proud that she wants me. Don't try and split us up; You don't get to make a decision like that about my life Mycroft.”  
  
Mycroft groaned; “You are trying to catch the greatest villain the world has ever known. You think this is the time to become sentimental. Let alone what you are dragging your friends, and girlfriend into. Do you know what Moriarty will do when he realises there is such an easy target to get to you Sherlock? Can you at-least agree to keep this liaison secret? Tell no-one and don't be as obvious as to call on her every day?”  
  
Sherlock thought for a moment. Mycroft did have a point, he'd only be Molly in danger if they went public. “Okay but we'll have to tell John and Mary, if Molly hasn't already. They're are our best friends and they'll be devastated if we don't. I trust them competently anyway. Now can we talk about the case. It's nearly a week since I gave you that article and asked you to look into the Irish connection.”  
  
“Not a lot of new information brother. One of her friends did give a description of this Richie Walters. It could possibly be Moriarty, but it's still a very big risk to put resources into this line. I talked had someone talk to the original reporter on Wednesday, Marty Driscol; he was happy to do some undercover work for us. Unfortunately got himself shot over the weekend; he got on the wrong side of the Northern Irish fundamentalists, apparently. The boss of his paper doesn't want to give us any help; just another missing girl, it happens a lot. I have to agree, we have nothing to link Moriarty with this case or anything else over the water. Haven't you and Mrs Watson found anything new yet?”  
  
“Not yet, we keep looking through the internet, and papers but nothing. This is the only lead we've got, and it makes sense Mycroft. He had roots, people he knew over there; and knew he'd be able to work more secretly than over here. Which is why it's so hard to find him using ordinary methods. We need information from over there. Pay the paper or one of its reporters to look deeper. Or send one of those men that are following me over there to look into the girl's disappearance. What about trying to find out what he is planning, no sources to help you? My mind is telling me to keep on the Ireland link. You brought me back here, and now are paying me to find Moriarty. I need your assistance to do so. Maybe I'll go over there myself soon.”  
  
“I haven't got people following you Sherlock, I've got other sources when I need to track your moves. I'll help you follow up the chance that Moriarty is in Ireland; if you agree not to get too obsessed with this one lead, or to take stupid risks like going to Ireland on your own. Look into other avenues as-well.”  
  
Sherlock knew his brother had got people following him, there was no other logical explanation for the man he'd seen on Saturday night. But he needed Mycroft's help with this case. “Fine, and I'd better get back and look into those other avenues now, unless there was anything else you wanted.” Sherlock got up and left the room.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


Mary heard Sherlock come in the flat, and looked up from the laptop.  
  
“Morning, how did it go with Mycroft? Does he have any new information for us?”  
  
“Nothing of any use. He just wanted to waste both our mornings telling me that, and that he doesn't think Moriarty is in Ireland. I had to promise that we would continue to look at other cases, not there is a lot point in it. He also wanted to interfere more in my private life. He's actually got people following me at the weekends now. He won't admit it, but I've seen them.”  
  
Mary took a deep breath, she needed to ease into this conversation. “Yes about the weekend, you were a-bit bad tempered on Saturday morning, and there was no case-work that you needed to attend to.”  
  
“Do have to discuss this? I have wasted enough of my time today with my brother, I'd now like to do some work. He picked up one of the papers she'd brought in.  
  
Mary grabbed the paper off him. “Yes we do have to discuss this now Sherlock. You were very rude, and nearly violent to John. All he was trying to do was offerring some advice. Which it sounds like according to Molly's phone call last night, you took. There was no need to treat John the way you did; and why did need to leave the flat so urgently.”  
  
“I managed to sort the situation with Molly on my own. I didn't and still don't need advice from so called friends , who think I'm incapable of doing anything on my own. I did need to meet someone who might be able to get us some more information on Moriarty is up to. Sorry if I forgot to mention it.” Sherlock's hand and arms were shaking, was it just the tension of the meeting with Mycroft and now she was arguing with him? Well Mary couldn't stop it was important Sherlock got this.  
  
“Look calm down, why don't you sit down? I'm sorry, but I'm not going to stop this. What do you mean 'so called friends' John and I have never done anything but support you Sherlock. We all need advice sometimes, and John was trying to help that's all. And why won't you tell me now about this person you were meeting?”  
  
“Because it was Billy, who you met last year. I knew you wouldn't approve but he has a large network of people on the streets, and is useful in cases like this. I don't see you and John trying to support me at the moment. I didn't need John's advice on Saturday, I managed to make things right with Molly all on my own. Even the way you suggested that you started working here because you thought I wasn't coping with the case on my own. Well obviously that didn't work and isn't going to. Shall we say to the end of the day, but don't come back tomorrow?” Sherlock's voice sounded so angry, and he looked like he was going to take a swipe at Mary, instead he just stormed out of the flat.  
  
She fell into her usual chair, Sherlock's attitude had really scared her; he'd changed so quickly from normal to beyond angry, and she'd never seen him so near physical violence before without very good reason. The fight on Saturday; Tom had been asking for trouble, everyone had said that. But it was unlike Sherlock to be the first to pitch in with his fists. Whatever was going on with Sherlock, he needed to start dealing with it. She'd try and act normal when he got back; but get John to pick her up, then the two of them could talk with him together. Maybe she should tell Molly as well, now they were a couple. Now she needed a glass of water to calm herself down.  
  
Mary stood at the sink drinking her water, looking out of the window, when suddenly her eyes caught sight of a bottle of pills. She picked them up and studied the bottle, no label on it which for Sherlock made it even more dubious, about a 5th emptied. Could this be part the reason for Sherlock's moodiness. She'd have to get John to look at them anyway, he might be able to identify them. And, Mary glanced at her watch, he'd be on his lunch break now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Please feedback, and feel free to critize or correct spelling / grammar.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock thinks his friends are better off without him. How far will he go to put distance between them and himself, and will they let him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ussual disclaimer:  
>   
> All characters are owned by the BBC unless specified  
>   
> All characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.

Sherlock kept walking then stopped and sat down on a park bench, he needed to think; he'd really messed it up this time. He didn't understand why he'd gotten so angry. He knew Mary would want to talk to him about Saturday; that had been inexplicable as-well. Until he could get control of himself, of his thoughts and nightmares he'd never be any good for any of his friends. He'd have to get a bit of distance for now. Good thing he'd told Mary they weren't working well together. It was for her and John's own good. When Sherlock had beaten Morairty, it would all be better; he'd stop having the dreams, and be able to control himself better. Maybe he'd stop taking the pills, Sherlock did wonder for a moment if they were the reason for his moodiness. But he knew he needed them, and the moods were because of his nightmares. He couldn't be a good man until these had stopped, and the pills helped stop them. Sherlock didn't want to be alone anymore, hadn't he told his brother today that caring about his friends helped him. But he was feeling dangerous, he didn't know how he'd manage to get out of the house without hurting Mary before. He'd never been any good for them anyway, why did they need him? As for Molly, he must have been insane to think that now was a good time for him to be starting a relationship. He'd tell her it was so he could focus on the case, give her hope for the future, well maybe one day it would work. He had to focus on the case, the sooner Moriarty was found, the sooner the dreams would stop and he could get rid of the nightmares, and get on. Maybe if his brother hadn't found anything in the next week, he'd go to Ireland himself. Sherlock suddenly looked behind him because he thought he saw someone out of the corner of his eye. He thought he'd told his brother to stop his spies. Obviously not, well they'd only tell Mycroft he was acting suspicious or at-least not working if he stayed out here, he'd better head back to Baker Street.

  


Sherlock did a double take as walked up the stairs outside the flat, what were John's and Molly's cars doing here. He knew he'd been out-of-order with Mary before, so this must be a three line whip.  
  
“I see, there is a party going on here, or is this for my benefit?” Sherlock asked as he walked into the flat.”  
  
“Yeah you could say that. We were wondering what these were.” John stepped in-front of Sherlock, so their faces were almost touching. He was holding the bottle of pills. Sherlock groaned inwardly.  
  
“Just vitamins, they help me to be at my best during the day.” He said.  
  
“Then why aren't they in a labelled bottle?” Molly spoke from on his chair she looked like she'd been crying.  
  
“I don't get them from a shop, a friend of mine can get them cheaper.”  
  
“This 'friend' wouldn't be Billy would it?” Mary asked.  
  
Sherlock knew he had to deny this quickly, he probably already looked nervous. Before he could, John spoke again.  
  
“Great. He's a drug dealer, you know that; he supplied you before. Even if you believe these are just vitamins, there's nothing stopping him from putting anything inside the bottle. He wants to get you addicted to something again, it's more business for him. And why were you so keen to meet with him on Saturday, no point in not saying that's who you were with; you already admitted that much to Mary earlier. And then there are your moods. Mary says you nearly hit her earlier, that's just not like you. You've got moodier, and changing your moods from relaxed to stressed really quickly recently.”  
  
“I understand you're all worried, but there's really no need.”  
  
John interrupted Sherlock “No shit Sherlock, of-course we're worried, but with real need I'm guessing. I'll have to take these pills away for analysis. Then we'll see if they are vitamins or not won't we? And we'll also see how you cope without them for a few days. I assume there is only the one bottle; if not I trust you won't take any of them.”  
  
Why hadn't Sherlock thought of getting a spare bottle in? He never would have been so anxious about Saturday if he'd had a bottle in. How were his friends going to react when they realised what he was taking? They'd start to realise what a rubbish person he was. He'd already decided they were better off without him, now he needed to act on it.  
  
“You could just believe me. Friends are meant to believe each other. I haven't got an extra bottle of the pills, but as soon as my possession is given back to me I will carry on taking them. Because they are just vitamins that help me to work during the day.”  
  
“You've never needed vitamins before, why do you need them now? And as I told you earlier, stop saying we're all not supporting you. We're doing our best, but we can't let an addict take pills.” Mary said.  
  
“Accusing me of taking drugs, jumping to conclusions, telling me I'm having mood swings just because I'm stressed; I'm working on one of the hardest cases of my career. I don't know if I need this kind of friendship, I've always said I'm better off on my own, something my brother reminded me of this-morning. Now I wish I'd listened to him.”  
  
Sherlock could see that Molly was upset, but he felt frozen, he saw Mary walk over and put her around Molly, she shrugged it off and stood up.  
  
“You made me feel so special this weekend. But if being with you is going to be like this I'm not sure I want it. You're talking to Mary, John and myself, like we have let you down. We haven't, we're so worried about you Sherlock Holmes. You've never taken vitamins before, to just start now is very convenient. And you haven't done anything to convince us that you aren't taking anything. Saying you're better off alone, do you have any idea how much that's going to hurt any girlfriend. I can't deal with this now, and I should be getting back to work, not that I'll be able to focus on that this afternoon. See you later Sherlock.”  
  
She stormed out of the room, now in tears. Sherlock went after, he first thought was to make it up with Molly, but then he remembered that she was better off without him. Everything she'd said just now was true; he'd no idea how to be a good boyfriend.  


  


“Molly I'm sorry, and you know I never say that unless I mean it. But maybe this relationship, wasn't a good idea. Not now anyway. I need to make catching Moriarty my priority. It's this case that's making me moody I swear. Maybe after this is over we'll have a chance of a relationship maybe; but I'll never be a good boyfriend. I hope you find someone who is worthy of you. You will, I'm sure.  
  
“I'm not; I'm rubbish at picking men, I always fall for the wrong one.” Molly got in her car and drove off. Sherlock watched her go, then sighed and walked back into the flat; just John and Mary to deal with now.  


  


They were walking away from the window, hoping Sherlock wouldn't notice they'd obviously been watching the scene outside.  
  
“Well I hope you at-least tried to fix things with Molly.” Mary said.  
  
“No because I realised when I was out for my walk. I've had to many people around me recently. I can't think when I've always got someone trying to talk to me. It was a mistake to think the relationship with Molly as a good idea. I of-course took the blame for ending it myself. Told her she deserved better than me.”  
  
“Yeah she does. I can't believe you're being such an idiot. Why are you pushing everyone away. Have you learned nothing since I met you? You need us to bring out your good sides. Anyway Mary were talking just now, and she isn't leaving her job here. It's your brother who is paying her, not you. So actually you can't fire her. And we would just be even more worried about you than we already are if we can't see you.” John said.  
  
Sherlock thought about it, there were times when having Mary around had been useful; and it was Mycroft of paid her. Maybe this could work. “There have been times when having your wife working here has been useful, so I agree it might be beneficial if we continue. But as a solely work colleague relationship. I used to think I need to care about my friends to make me a good man. Than Magnuson happened, and I remembered that caring to much is a disadvantage. I feel like I could make the same mistake with the Moriarty case, and I can't afford to let that happen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There probably won't be another chapter before Christmas, so Happy Christmas to all my readers, and I'll try to post more often in the new year.  
>   
> Thank you for reading, don't forget to leave Kudos if you liked it ;)
> 
> I also appreciate feedback; positive and negative from my readers.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock has now pushed everyone away and is prepared to track down Moriarty alone...or is he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ussual disclaimer:  
>   
> All characters are owned by the BBC unless specified  
>   
> All characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.  
>   
> Edited for layour 5/3/15

It was a week since Sherlock's friends had found his pills. He'd met with Billy that evening to get another bottle, and broached the subject about him getting Sherlock tickets to Ireland. Billy thought he'd only need a couple of hours. Then it had still seemed too early, Sherlock had promised Mycroft that he'd give him more time and explore other links. Now, Mycroft hadn't come up with anything new and Sherlock was more sure than ever that the Irish link was right. Mary would be in Baker Street, so she could continue with her own research anyway. Maybe he should ask if she wanted to come, make everyone think he was doing everything by the right channels. It might be useful to have an ex-assassin alongside him. Mary was on the laptop, she had head-phones on so she could listen to the music she 'needed' while working; Sherlock made her a cup of coffee to give her to get her attention and maybe bribe her into saying yes to his idea. Not that mattered to him either way.  
  
Mary took the mug, and unplugged the head-phones “Thanks Sherlock, I could do with a break. Found anything this morning?”  
  
“No, because my brother hasn't given me any new information on where Moriarty might be in Ireland, and everything else is pointless. I'm thinking I, we, whichever, need to get over there. I have the address of the paper, that will be our starting point.”  
  
“I'm not sure if we're ready for that yet. What do you plan to find out from the paper? You promised Mycroft you'd stay here until he had more information. I'd rather wait till John was able to join us, he'll could get leave in a week or two probably. Three of us over there are better than two?”  
  
“Four if count Lilly, or are you going to abandon your child? No, John's had his adventures, this is just the two of us.”  
  
“John has experience which will be useful to us. Plus he'll hate me for going off on something like this without us. Obviously Lilly will stay in England, I'm sure Mrs Hudson could cope with looking after her, and love the chance. It's only a few weeks, while we can get more of a plan for when get over there."  
  
“Will Mrs Hudson be able to look after Lilly if both her parents die in Ireland. This is Moriarty, it isn't a nice jolly. I work better when I running of my initiative and adrenaline. No need of a plan”  
  
“Well I'm not going for yet. Maybe taking John isn't sensible, though he'll hate missing out. But I want to be prepared. Like you said facing Moriarty isn't going to be easy.”  
  
“Fine.” Sherlock went back to the his chair and looked picked up an Irish Newspaper that he had bought yesterday. He waited to Mary had turned back to her computer and had her head-phones back in. He took his phone out of his pocket and texted Billy  
  
Will need that ticket. Can meet tonight. Same cafe as usual?  
  
He'd been sensible and given Mary a chance to come with him. He'd played their rules for long enough, he needed to go to Ireland as soon as possible. He needed an end to Moriarty and his nightmares, so he could get some sort of life again. He hadn't slept since last Thursday; he'd relived one time when he had been so badly whipped his whole body felt like it was burning, and they had started using knifes to cut into his back. He couldn't tell how deep, but each time he wondered if they would hit an important organ, was this how he was going to die? The vision made him scream so much that Mrs Hudson had come down to see if he was alright. He never wanted to admit the nightmares, or how frequently they were becoming to anyone. So he took pills every night now, and planned to continue doing so. But when Moriarty and his threat were over, Sherlock knew the dreams would be too. He was only having them now because the fact Moriarty was still alive meant that he still had people who could hurt Sherlock like before; the dreams were because Sherlock was scared of being in that position again. Why could no-one else understand how important it was to catch Moriarty? Maybe because he never told them about the dreams, but they still knew Moriarty was the biggest villain ever didn't they? Well apart from Magnuson, and Sherlock had killed him. He should have killed Moriarty himself, not trusted him to commit suicide and stay dead. Sherlock could feel his hands shaking; he started breathing deeper, but it was hard to keep calm when his thoughts were so agitated. He'd take another pill, that usually helped. Sherlock sighed as he poured a glass of water, he knew his friends would tell him to talk to them. But Sherlock knew he had made the right decision there. He was protecting them by keeping his distance. He hated that now he and Mary never talked about anything apart from work, the silence at times was worse than when his was working on his own. He hadn't hard from John in the last week and he missed his best friend, it would have been great if John and Mary had come to Ireland with him. They would've had fun amongst the tension; they always did, but Sherlock couldn't have that life now. He was denying himself something he didn't need in order to finish Moriarty that's all. He missed Molly so much more than he thought he would, they had only been together a short time and probably never would again. But Sherlock missed the kissing and the warmth he had felt during those times, also the thought he had found someone who he could trust with his secrets. He didn't deserve that though, his thoughts were beyond what any human should have to think about. It was his own fault, he'd chosen this life fighting criminals, sometime it always going to get violent. These choices he'd made didn't give him the right to give anyone else nightmares, especially someone as delicate as Molly. Not that she was fragile as people thought; she had a hidden tiger inside the kitten exterior, it was what he loved about her. No he didn't love Molly, he couldn't, he would have to work harder to forget her though. Molly, even with her hidden depths, couldn't deal with Sherlock's thoughts, and she never should. He could never be good enough for her anyway, relationships were something he'd never understand. Sherlock was so busy in mind palace he didn't hear Mary come into the kitchen.  
  
“Oi!” She shouted snatching the bottle of pills from Sherlock's hand causing half the bottle to spill onto the counter.  
  
“Vitamins remember” Sherlock replied, grabbing a tablet from the counter.  
  
“No, Caffeine tablets apparently, John phoned me 5 minutes ago to tell me. He's coming over after work so we can talk about this properly. For now if you take that tablet, I'm walking straight out of here, and you won't see us again, not even Lily. Mycroft won't be happy when I tell him why I quit either.”  
  
Sherlock gave Mary the tablet and walked out of the kitchen. He missed the camaraderie with Mary and he missed his best friend. But he kept consoling himself that it was for the best, they were better without him destroying their lives by putting them in danger. It should be even more for his God-daughter, what example was he ever going set her. But somehow it was the threat of having her removed from his life that Sherlock hated the most. She looked up to Uncle Sherlock, and he wanted her never to lose that admiration. It could be the focus for him becoming the good man that his friends saw inside him. But Sherlock knew the reality, that man was already gone.  
  
Mary came back into the room, but went straight back to the computer. Sherlock went to his mind-palace, he wanted to start to come up with a plan for when he got to Ireland. He'd go to the News-paper office first. As his brother had already made some noise there, he could pretend he was with the British government, see what information he could get on Marty Driscol. Did he have any more information on the case, what leads had he been working on before his death. Then Sherlock would go to University and see Samantha's friends; maybe he'd be able to coax something out of them. Ones of these paths was bound to give Sherlock the lead he needed, but just in-case it didn't, what could he find on Moriarty's family in Ireland, he hadn't actually got any information on this, but Mary might he'd ask her when she didn't look so absorbed, he didn't want to give away the urgency he now needed this information. Sherlock started searching his mind for any information on Moriarty that might be useful to help him find the Consulting Criminal's family. Soon he heard a knock at the front door and Mrs Hudson letting John in. Mary turned her computer off as her husband come into the room.  
  
“Right, so I assume you told him why I'm here?” John asked looking at Mary.  
  
“I had too, he was about to take a pill from a new bottle.”  
  
John turned to look at Sherlock. “William Sherlock Scott Holmes, you promised me you wouldn't get a bottle of replacement pills.” He yelled.  
  
“I never made any such promise. I just said I didn't have any more pills, and I didn't at that time. I didn't then, and still don't have any reason to stop taking them.”  
  
“There are so many side effects to these things. Nervousness, insomnia, rapid or irregular heartbeat, muscle tremors, nausea, irritability and restlessness. Plus they're highly addictive, not good for someone like you Sherlock. How many are taking a day? 2,4,6 more than 6? Too many can even cause a heart-attack.”  
  
Sherlock thought for a minute, he was taking at least 6 most days now. But he wouldn't tell the John and Mary that. “Caffeine can also have health benefits when taking in a reasonable dose, which I am. And occasionally I struggle to sleep at night if my head is too full of the case, so I need extra energy to keep me going through the day.”  
  
“The risks out-weigh the benefits. If you're not sleeping then there's stuff we can try for that, techniques that will help you clear you mind. We can't stand here and let you destroy yourself. If you won't stop taking the tablets, Mary will have to quit working here, You won't see any of us till you start to sort yourself out.” John said, as Mary grabbed his arm and started whispering in his ear. Maybe it had been an idle threat from Mrs Watson earlier, she couldn't actually abandon Sherlock. Well he wouldn't give them the opportunity , he was going tonight. He crept out of the flat, leaving the Watsons to their argument, he had to meet Billy.

  


\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


Molly finished work and sighed, it had been another long shift. Everything seemed more depressing in the last week. Mary and John had been great, letting her come over every evening, and hearing her cry over Sherlock again. John reminded her it was just his addiction talking, maybe with the PTSD if Mary was right. Maybe when the Moriarty case was over, he'd be able to quit whatever the tablets were, and they would be able to try again. She would make him work for her forgiveness though. No-one hurt her the way Sherlock had last week and got away with it. She wished she stop caring about him, but that probably wouldn't happen. Now she needed coffee. She'd stopped having it at work, that liquid they called coffee was beyond disgusting. She popped into a cafe, maybe she'd order a burger as well, she needed something for dinner, and didn't feel like cooking. Molly sat down at a table and started looking around her. She loved people watching, it always had been one of her favourite hobbies. Suddenly out of the corner of her eyes, she saw someone who looked like Sherlock sitting at the back of the restaurant. Why was mind playing such cruel tricks on her. No, that was Sherlock, and he was sitting with Billy. Were they about the exchange more drugs. Molly looked to see if there were any free tables were she could watch them closer without being noticed, there was one at the back but far enough away from Sherlock and Billy they might not notice her. She moved, now she could hear what they were saying.  
  
“I still think you're mighty brave going on your own to do this.” Billy said, passing a white envelope to Sherlock.  
  
“I didn't need anyone with me. They will only slow me down, or get in the way. This time it will truly be just me and Jim.” Sherlock took the envelope and walked out of the cafe.  
  
Molly gasped, putting her hand over her mouth, hoping Billy didn't look over. So Sherlock was planning on going to Ireland on his own to fight Moriarty, and as he now had the tickets, he would probably be leaving soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, don't forget to leave Kudos if you liked it ;)
> 
> I also appreciate feedback; positive and negative from my readers.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock is now in Ireland and has new leads on the case but is the Moriarty case too much for him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ussual disclaimer:  
>   
> All characters are owned by the BBC / Arthur Conan Doyle apart from a few minor charcters of my pwn creation  
>   
> All Sherlock characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.  
>   
> Edited for Layout 5/3/15

Molly was unsure how she got back to her flat, she wasn't concentrating on the roads that's for certain, but it didn't matter she was back safety, and hadn't caused any accidents thankfully. But what to do about Sherlock? How dare he go off on his own like this. She assumed John and Mary didn't know anything about it. Maybe they did, maybe it was all part of some plan. She should phone them first. She Mary's mobile, John picked it up immediately .  
  
“Please tell me the flipping idiot is with you?”  
  
“Urm no, actually that's why I called. I think I saw Sherlock in a cafe with Billy, well it was definitely them. I saw them exchange an envelope, from the conversation that I couldn't help overhearing, it was plane tickets for Ireland.”  
  
“Ok, we're five minutes from yours, we can talk about it better face to face.”

  


Half an hour later John and Mary were in Molly flat and she had told them about the scene she had witnessed.  
  
Mary said “He talked this morning about wanting to go soon, I said not for another week; till we had a real plan. I thought he agreed easily but had bigger things on my mind, with the tablets and everything. The results came back, they're caffeine tablets by the way.”  
  
“Something that would be fine in small doses for a normal person, but not for Sherlock, and he's probably not doing small doses. You're not to blame love, you told him not to go, if decided to be stupid anyway that's his decision.” John put his arm around Mary.  
  
“I agree. I wish he wasn't being such an idiot at the moment, but there is nothing we can do about it. We've tried our best, he's pushing us all away.”  
  
“If something happens in Ireland, at least he'll realise he can't do things on his own.” John said  
  
“Don't say that, you don't want to see him hurt any more than the rest of us. The question is how we get to Ireland and track him? I'll phone Mycroft and let him know, and he can arrange for me to go over there. He won't like it, probably tell me I haven't been doing a good enough job, and goodness knows what he'll do Sherlock when he does get back. Then there's all the childcare arrangements to be made. We'll have to rely on Mrs Hudson, but I hate asking her to look after Lily all day 5 days a week at such short notice.” Mary said  
  
“I still think you shouldn't be going alone, I'll come with you. The other partners will hate it though, we're so busy at the moment.” John replied.  
  
Molly thought for a moment. “The morgue is quiet at the moment. I mean I'd have to come with a good reason to leave work, but I could do it. And a neighbour will look after Toby Fly out tonight if I can find a seat. You give me the address of the paper Mary. I think I have a chance of tracking Sherlock down. Then you come out when everything is more sorted at this end. That means you put off telling Mycroft, make it sound more planned and less like Sherlock's left us all behind.”  
  
John interjected “No Molly, you don't know what danger you'll be putting yourself into. You don't know what Moriarty's like or what he has planned.”  
  
“John none of us, not even Sherlock, knows what Moriarty's plan is. I do know him quite well,remember Jim from IT. Ok it was a part he was acting, but I'm sure a lot of the real Jim was there as-well. He won't be expecting me as much as he would you or Mary. Neither will Sherlock. The more I think about this, the more I think it's a great plan. Well the best we've got. I'm determined too. You won't talk me out of this.”  
  
“Phone Mary hourly so we know you're ok. And remember to stay in background. These are dangerous people Molly.”  
  
“I know that, I'm capable of looking after myself John. Now go on home, I've got stuff to organize.”

  


Later that night Molly sat in an uncomfortable chair at the airport. After handing the ticket office a chunk of her savings she was on the next flight out to Dublin, luckily there was a spare seat as someone had cancelled earlier in the day. She'd emailed her boss to say her mother had just died and she'd need some compassionate leave. She hated lying, especially about something as big as this. But Sherlock needed her, and although he caused her nothing but hurt, she still loved him. She'd look after him again like after Reichenbach

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


Sherlock woke up from another nightmare, he hoped he hadn't been screaming this time. A man screaming on a park bench wasn't very inconspicuous. He'd even gotten Billy to turn off the GPS off his phone; well it had been Billy's idea actually, but it was a good one. And no hotel booking made him less easy to find as well as saving money. Sherlock didn't need to room for a whole night anyway. He'd just needed to have a bit of rest after the flight, and somehow gone off to sleep. Now he got the bottle of pills from his pocket and took a couple, he would have done this yesterday but had to make they lasted to he back in the UK. If Billy had been able to give Sherlock an extra bottle yesterday Sherlock would have bought it. Still He didn't have time to bring any luggage from baker street, so the less he was carrying around with him the better. He had to try to meet with the editor of the paper now, Steve Welsh. Sherlock got up and went round the corner to the newspaper office. It wasn't 8.00 but already there was someone entering the building, he was late 40s with receding ginger hair, and a beer belly, matching the photo of the editor Sherlock had found on the Newspapers website. Sherlock managed to barge his way in before Steve could lock the doors again.  
  
“Steve Welsh? We need to talk.”  
  
The man's voice trembled slightly. Obviously wasn't used to being taken by surprise, not good for a reporter. “I don't think so. If you need to make an appointment then do so through my secretary, she'll be in at 9.”  
  
“I am here on behalf of the British Government, just a few short questions, and you will never have to see me, or hear from us again. He got a fake ID from his wallet and flahed it before Steve”  
  
Steve paused slightly, thinking through his options, why did it take normal people so long to think? “Okay you'd better come through to my office. But be quick. I'd rather you weren't here when the rest of the staff start arriving. I don't know what the deal is with poor Marty anyway if that's what you're here about.”  
  
“It's not about your reporter as a person, as sad as I'm sure that is for his colleagues and friends. It's a story he wrote 5 months ago that has only just been noticed by us. We think it will give us a lead on to one of the world's biggest villains.”  
  
“I doubt it. I know the story, just another teenage runway. I can't release Marty's notes or any other information to do with that story to you anyway sorry Mr, what was your name again?”  
  
“Unimportant. What is important is that you are withholding information from the British Government. This could cause serious problems for you personally and your paper if you continue. Marty had agreed to give us his notes before his unfortunate demise. He obviously didn't think he was breaking any confidentiality clauses by doing so.” Sherlock said.  
  
There was a long pause before Steve continued; “ If Marty was going to give them to you anyway; I suppose that's ok. But no-one who doesn't absolute need to see these has access to them understand?”  
  
“You can trust me Mr Welsh.” Sherlock smiled he most persuasive smile as Steve printed off a document and handed it to Sherlock.

  


Sherlock read through the papers for the third time, there wasn't as much information in there as he'd hoped. There was a name for Samantha's best friend, Sherlock had phoned straight away but no answer. The girl was probably in lectures. Until he got hold of her there was nothing to do. Maybe coming here so soon wasn't the answer, what if this Laura Williams hadn't got any new information? Sherlock shook his head, he hated how his mind was making him doubt his decisions lately, it was because of Moriarty being back. Sherlock was starting to think over the decisions he had back before the 'suicide' of Moriarty, and since with the brining down of his network. And because he was starting to doubt those decisions he was doubting the decisions he was making now. He took a couple more pills, this bottle wouldn't last more than a few days. Maybe he'd phone Billy and see if he could think of anyone over here to supply Sherlock. He had to delete all the information the John had tried to give him from his mind palace. He needed his pills and they weren't doing him any harm, end of story. Sherlock suddenly thought he saw a shadow behind one of the trees, he got up quickly and went over, no-one there now. Mycroft couldn't have tracked him down so soon, he hadn't used his credit card yet, and if he knew the Watson's would out off telling Mycroft of Sherlock's escape for as-long as possible. So who it, had someone been following him all along, someone connected with Moriarty? No, couldn't be, how would they have found him over here so quickly? And why not act all those times in the UK.? No Sherlock's mind was playing tricks on him, he hated these negative spirals of thinking and how they effected the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, don't forget to leave Kudos if you liked it ;)
> 
> I also appreciate feedback; positive and negative from my readers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock meets Sam's friend but will he be able to find the right infomration from what she is telling him? Are there any other clues he is missing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ussual disclaimer:  
>   
> All characters are owned by the BBC / Arthur Conan Doyle apart from a few minor charcters of my pwn creation  
>   
> All Sherlock characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.  
>   
> Edited for Layout 5/3/15

Sherlock sat in the back of the pub near the university where he was meeting Laura Williams, she was late. Sherlock could feel the now too familiar sensation of his arms shaking and hands tingling; it's because he'd been sitting here for so long now, getting more nervous that's all. His whole chance of catching Moriarty depended on this meeting. What if she never turned up? Or had no information? At least if Sherlock couldn't find the right piece of information from what she was saying, or deduced wrongly and went down a false path? His mind palace was getting untidy recently, too many locked rooms where Sherlock was scared to look, and he had to admit it the lack of sleep didn't help. When he was back in England maybe he'd seek John's help about his nightmares. But he had to focus on the now, these thoughts were not productive. Sherlock saw a newspaper on the next table, and picked it up. Reading current events would help him re-focus his mind while he waited, and that was how they'd found out about Moriarty being back in Ireland to begin with.The headline was about a scandal as a Dublin news-paper editor who'd resigned over allegations of under-age sex. Sherlock scoffed, people never covered up their tracks properly, he wouldn't have taken a second glance but he realised that was the paper that Steve Welsh and Marty Driscol worked for? Sherlock read the article more thoroughly  
  
_Steve Welsh (48), ex- editor of the Dublin Chronicle had to resign today after allegations that emerged yesterday about his affair with an 14-year-old; back in 2000 when Welsh was reporting on high-school sport matches. Since the first allegation, 5 other girls have come forward. One the daughter on a Dublin politician, who helped Welsh climb to editor. Not only has the paper now lost its editor, but the Chronicle it-self is under investigation for how it reports on these School-matches and how close the reporters get to the students. Also the politician's allegation that he managed to influence how a reporter moved from small local news to editor could spell the closure of the Chronicle._  
  
Sherlock's heart felt like it was pounding so fast, but why did this bother him? The Dublin Chronicle and it's editor had served their purpose now. He didn't feel guilty either, why should the fact these things had come to light today have anything to do with the fact Sherlock visited Steve Welsh yesterday? Especially as no-one knew he had. Though it did explain why the man was on edge when Sherlock approached him yesterday. Perhaps he knew this was about to happen.  
  
A young woman came and sat down opposite him with a glass of coke in her hands. She had long brown hair was and wearing a t-shirt with some super-hero on. It was that silly Capitan America, John and Mary had dragged him out to the latest movie. Sherlock thought it was good how some women today dressed casually and not like they had attract the opposite sex all the time. But he would keep this meeting focused on the case  
  
“Laura?”  
  
“Yeah, you're Sherlock right?” Her eyes kept flickering around the room. Well if he friend's disappearance made her and others like her think twice about meeting strangers in pubs then good.  
  
“That's right. I understand why you feel uncomfortable meeting me here like this, but any information you have for me could hopeful help me catch the man who took Samantha.”  
  
“Richie you mean? Never did like him, to smooth, as well as about 10 years to old for her. I mean I like older men; it would be grand to date some-one in their twenties. But he was too close to being past it. And why was he interested in our Sam? It just never made sense. They used to meet here, and I would follow her, and sit on one of the other tables, just to check everything was good. That night he'd told her to meet him by O'Connell bridge. No sound reason, just a late night stroll through Dublin. And Sam thought he was being romantic.” She rolled her eyes and took a big sip of her drink.  
  
“The report I read said they were meeting at a pub?” Sherlock asked.  
  
“Yeah well they were meant to be. Richie texted her half an hour before hand and said he thought the bridge would be better. More crowded, made it harder for anyone to see them. He was dead keen on them being a secret. Didn't like how many of Sam's friends knew, although she only told her closest mates. We assumed it was because of the age gap, didn't want people to start gossiping about them. 'Course now it looks like there was something more sinister going on the whole time. You'll be able to get back won't you?”  
  
Sherlock didn't care about Sam. She was stupid enough to date someone a lot older her, who wanted their relationship to be secret; it was obviously dodgy. But when the case was over, he should be able to bring the girl back to her friends, assuming Moriarty hadn't killed her. And he needed this meeting to go well. He smiled “Of course I will. But the more information you give me, the quicker I'll be able to find your friend.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  


Molly had arrived in Ireland the previous morning and found a hotel that a free room, she'd been very tired after the flight, and had a quick sleep then started her search. She'd spent the rest of that day asking around hotels to see if there was a Mr Holmes – or anyone suddenly needing a room and possibly giving a false name. Nothing. But then he would be trying to cover his tracks, maybe Billy had been able to suggest somewhere for him to stay. During the night she had looked around the local parks, pubs, anywhere to see if she could find him. Then she'd gone back to her hotel for food and a little rest; no point making herself ill. Since then Molly had tried some of the hotels again. Now She was going to the paper to see if Sherlock had been contact with them, or if they had any information, she doubted they would be able to tell her anything though. Probably wouldn't want to speak to anyone about this case if Sherlock had been as rude with them as he had with everyone else recently, which is why she had put this off.  
  
She walked into the reception area of the Dublin Chronicle, and the receptionist came out from behind the desk. She was late 40s Molly thought, slightly overweight, well that came from a sitting-down job, and was dressed in a grey suit. Her hair was mostly back in a ponytail, but they were stray bits loose, the look of someone who is trying to cope with a lot of stress.  
  
“Sorry no un-authorised visitors in the building today. What ever paper you're from the answer is no-comment anyway.”  
  
Molly said, “I'm not a reporter. I just need some information to do with a story your paper covered a while ago. Or at-least I'm trying to track down someone else who is after this information, It's complicated I'm afraid. But I was told your editor Steve Welsh could hep me. If now is not convenient that's fine, but is it ok if I wait for him. It really should only take a few minutes.”  
  
“Mr Welsh resigned this morning. As I've said no-one from the paper is willing the comment on this issue or any old stories we might have covered. Sorry for your wasted trip.”  
  
Molly sighed, she had always suspected this would be a dead-end. But how was she going to track Sherlock down now. “ You don't know Mr Welsh had any visitors yesterday do you? I'm sorry my friend is here on his own, I'm desperate to track him down, this paper is the only lead I've got.”  
  
Just then a young man, he still looked like a teenager to Molly came over to them.  
  
“I might be able to help, at least I know the case your friend was interested in.”  
  
“Don't say anything Mickey, that what got Mr Welsh, and all of us into this situation to begin with. Just get back into the office and do some work.” The receptionist blasted. The young man scuttled away quickly.  
  
She spoke a lot more calmly to Molly. “I am sorry love. But getting involved in what ever this is, has already brought no end of trouble for the paper. I can't say any more, or let any of our reporters. I do hope you find your friend though.”  
  
“I understand. I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused by coming today, or my friend has caused with his previous visit.”

  


Molly walked back towards her hotel but was lost in thought. Had Sherlock been to be paper yesterday? The answer was almost certainly yes, but what information had he found out? How had this visit cost the editor his job, and put the paper at risk? She couldn't think too much about that now, she needed to focus her mind on finding Sherlock, which would be impossible as she had no idea what information he now had or where it would lead him. She needed to find him before he found Moriarty he wasn't ready to cope with Moriarty alone. The last time he'd been after Sherlock, he would have ended up killing himself if it hadn't been for Molly's assistance luckily that time he wasn't afraid to ask for her help. Now he wanted to keep everyone at a distance, she got it he thought he was too damaged to be near them. Why couldn't he understand that she wanted in, to know what he was going through so she could assist him. He was never going to get better on his own and Molly Hopper was going to save him. She had always loved Sherlock, earlier it had been just about his looks and brains. But in the years she'd known him, she'd seen his vulnerable side, that despite his intelligence he still thought he was a freak, and a bad person. He needed someone to show him how to let his feelings and thoughts out, so others could see the beautiful person inside.  
She suddenly saw a man on a park bench. Wasn't it too early for homeless people to gather in the park, maybe he was ill, Molly walked towards him. Suddenly she recognised the coat and curly hair. It was Sherlock!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. If you like it please leave kudos
> 
> If you can give me feedback that would be awesome. Positive feedback is always nice to read and will help me write a couple of dificult chapters; negative feedback is also welcome as it helps me improve my writing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock tells Molly to go home, he needs to find Moriarty on his own, but is he on his own?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usual disclaimer:  
> All characters are owned by the BBC / Arthur Conan Doyle apart from a few minor charcters of my pwn creation
> 
> All Sherlock characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.

Molly went over and looked at Sherlock, it was obvious that he was in his mind palace but this was more important. She was going to shake him, to draw attention to herself. Suddenly she thought what if she could get Sherlock's phone, she could see if there were any recent calls or messages, in-case he was uncooperative. She managed to get from his pocket, check it and place it back without him noticing. Now she gently grabbed his arm and spoke right into his ear. 

“Sherlock. This is important, do you realise how worried we've all been.”

He looked startled when he looked back at her. “Molly Hooper what are you doing here? You shouldn't have come here, none of you should. But you especially should have stayed away. I'm deeply sorry I changed our relationship from friendship. But can't you understand I'm too damaged for you to be around now. That aside I haven't got time for romantic liasons;I need to concentrate on Moriarty. My work is something I can still do well. I need to work without distractions; which is why I moved here on my own, without any help from John and Mary. Now get the next flight back to England and tell everyone to not worry about me. As-long as I am concentrating on my work I'm fine.”

Molly knew she couldn't let Sherlock think his actions were ok. She also had to make this not about them as a couple, though she wanted to let Sherlock know he wasn't too damaged for her. That would have to wait for another time, and when they did talk about, she would tell him how hurt she was, but for now it had to be about work, the way Sherlock wanted it. She remembered the last time John had brought him into Bart's after Sherlock had taken drugs; she'd shocked herself with how harsh she'd been that day. But sometimes it was the best way of getting through to him

“You idiot. How do we think you we can you leave you to do anything alone at the moment. You are taking drugs again, goodness knows what they are doing to your body. Or what state your precious mind is from lack and sleep and whatever thoughts you are trying to block out. Sherlock you can't catch Moriarty on your own. The last time your brother and I were helping you, it still nearly cost you your life. And you weren't making dumb decisions like you've been recently. You might not want me here, but I'm not going back to England without you. Mary and John are both flying out here tomorrow. Between the four of us, we might stand a chance, if you share all the information you have and stop working against your friends.”

Sherlock stood up and hit Molly on the arm; she knew he wasn't himself, it was the drugs but she was still taken aback.

“I don't need friends I never did, and I especially don't now. You all keep distracting me, or trying to stop me from doing what I need to do. I have a plan and I don't need anyone's help in fulfilling it. The problem with the last time, was that I sought the help of others instead of working on my own. This time it will be just me and Moriarty and I will win.”

“No you blooming won't because you're not in control of your own body anymore can't you see that? You seem to have a constant tremor in your hand or your arm, and you are reacting to situations in ways you wouldn't normally. You have never hit me before, and I don't believe you meant to do then. What happens if you do something else you normally wouldn't do, at a crucial point tomorrow or whenever you're facing Moriarty? I'm not here because I fancied a break and thought you had a good idea taking off to Ireland. I'm here because I believe you can't make it back home safety without my help. Anyway, I'm not going anywhere.”

Sherlock started to walk away “I'm sorry about what happened before, of-course I didn't mean to hit you. But you are so annoying sometimes, you all are. You think you know what's best for me. Only I am in my head and I'm still in full control of it, thank you very much. I can't force you to go back to England, I'm sure you will follow me around. I just hope Moriarty and who-ever he's got working for him doesn't find you, because this is dangerous Molly.”

“Well, let me come with you, then you'd know where I was the whole time wouldn't you Sherlock.”

“No because I need to do this alone. I don't know how many ways I have tried to explain this to you all. Now I have somewhere I need to go to and I don't want you to follow me. If you're sensible you go back to your hotel room and pack up your bag. Tell John and Mary I won't let them hinder me either.”

He stormed off, Molly watched, shaking her head. Of-course there was no way she was actually going to leave Sherlock alone. But she'd keep out of sight, and phone if there was any trouble. She sighed, thinking about Sherlock, maybe in a way he was right, he was too damaged for a relationship now. At-least she would have to make sure he started to get help with the pills, and any PTSD issues before she thought about being anything but a friend. He'd have to really apologise and make up for the way he had treated her and his other friends as-well. But she would forgive him eventually because she always did. She knew that he needed her, and she needed him. Just not like this. For now Molly would try to focus on treating Sherlock as a friend who needed her help. She had managed to almost bury her feelings for Sherlock before, when he had been away from London for two years. Now she needed to do the same again; it would be harder because she was still seeing him so much, but it was necessary until Sherlock accepted the help she and others were offering. She wiped the tears from her eyes. No Molly, she told herself, Sherlock needs you to be strong.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  


Sherlock made it to O'Connell's Bridge, it was getting late, probably early evening. Time meant little to Sherlock now, he just moved onto the next piece in the case when he wanted to. Maybe he should've left it later, night-time when no-one else was around, but it might be too dark to see the clue that he needed. Plus, if there was anyone following him, he just looked like another tourist. Why had Molly come out here? He'd thought John or Mary or even both might track him down, but not Molly? He hated that the most special person to him in the world was involved in this. Could be snatched by Moriarty at any time. Maybe he should have let her come with him, at-least he could protect her. But he wanted her back in England, working at Bart's where she was safe, he had to take the chance that she'd taken the hint and was now packing. He needed to work alone anyway. He'd solve the case and get back to England, apologise and seem to be seeking the help his friends thought he needed. Then he'd be able to win Molly back, chocolates and roses should do it.

Sherlock shook his head to stop himself, he must not get distracted now. He did want to pursue a relationship with his pathologist, but that would have to wait till the work was finished. He was close to finding Moriarty, he was sure of it. Sherlock didn't know what the clue was he was looking for, but he knew there had to be something here. Maybe Sam Had left some sort of clue here as to where they were going next. Someone would have picked up any litter trail by now, but maybe some graffiti on one of the bridge walls. If not sometimes just being in the right place inspired Sherlock. He'd have a look around then go to his mind palace here.

 

It had gotten too dark to see anything clearly, and Sherlock knew he wasn't going to be given the gift of a scratched scribble telling exactly what to do next, it was down to his mind as usual. He took a pill to keep himself awake, this was not the time for sleep and nightmares. He examined the room he had for this case, how did everything fit together? Moriarty was Richie Walters, Sherlock was still sure of that. He had taken the Irish girl, but why? What use did she have to Moriarty, or was it just to leave Sherlock a clue? Did Moriarty want Sherlock to track him this far, another of his games like last time. Sherlock had to figure this out before he could work out where they were. 

He suddenly felt someone's arms around him. He opened his eyes, expecting to see Molly there, she couldn't leave him alone for one night. Maybe he'd let her take him to her hotel room. But no, it was a tall, muscular man with ginger hair. He had grabbed Sherlock around his stomach and was now pulling him up, there were another 4 men with him. These were the men Sherlock had seen in London, and again the other night. Had Moriarty been tracking him all this time? Sherlock didn't have time to think about that though two of the men grabbed his arms, so he couldn't move, the other two were kicking forcibly at his legs. One was also punching his stomach, Sherlock bent over in pain, letting one of the arm guys take a swipe at his head. Sherlock blacked out unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. If you like it please leave kudos
> 
> If you can give me feedback that would be awesome. Positive feedback is always nice to read and will help me write a couple of dificult chapters; negative feedback is also welcome as it helps me improve my writing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So now Sherlock has been captured - What's next for our Consulting Dectective?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usual disclaimer:  
> All characters are owned by the BBC / Arthur Conan Doyle apart from a few minor charcters of my pwn creation
> 
> All Sherlock characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.

Sherlock blinked awake. that was a deep sleep; he hadn't dreamt at all. Maybe he didn't need the pills as much as he thought he did, although he did have a very bad headache. His whole body was sore actually. But where was he? Under the bridge, it looked dark enough. No a room, it was cold and damp, a cellar maybe. The night before started to come back to him, he'd been attacked by those men. His arms were painful, probably from where the men had gripped them the night before; Sherlock looked to his side to check, no he was tied with industrial wire, to the chair, his feet as-well, and more wire around his stomach. They had also taken his coat, which is why he felt so cold. Sherlock had trouble across the room because it was so dark; the only dim light was the other side of the room. He thought he could see a woman there; what was probably a laptop was on a desk in-front of her. It was probably Sam, but Sherlock couldn't see clearly enough to know. He groaned in pain and she looked towards him.

“So you're back with us again.” She said with a slight cheery voice. Sherlock didn't think there was much for Sam to be cheery about. Maybe she was just glad of the company, maybe she thought that Sherlock would be able to rescue them both. Which he would do when his head stopped thumping long enough to come up with a plan.

“It would seem so. What is this place? Where are we?” 

“I was knocked out same as you before he brought me here. Yeah, I thought I was just meeting 'Richie', but as soon as I was under the bridge I was attacked by four men. I thought I was being mugged. Of-course really it was his plan to hurt me before he got me here, to make me more cooperative, and it's a better look on a hostage I guess. I'm Sam Boyle by the way.”

“Yes, I worked that out, you're the one Moriarty used in his little game to lead me here. Lucky you were given access to that though. Sherlock tried to nod towards the laptop, but failed. His head was too sore still, and he didn't have much movement. I'm Sherlock Holmes, but again, I assumed that you had managed to work that out. So any windows in this place?”

Sam laughed. “You'd be lucky. The only door is behind me, and is usually guarded by himself, or one of his goons. So yeah, basically don't try anything, unless it's really clever. The computer doesn't have full internet access, just the bits that Moriarty wants me to have access to for his master plan.”

Sherlock knew that would be a way out; he just needed for his head to stop hurting so he could think clearer. Information on Moriarty's plan would also be helpful. “So what is his 'master' plan then?

“To break into our Government Buildings in Dublin. My uncle Niall is head of security; he's being blackmailed to let Moriarty's men in. He'll do it as-well, he's always looked out for me. He's already given them information on to hack into the computer security system, so nothing alerts the police or anything. That's where me and this laptop come in. Moriarty needed someone who would be able to hack into the system with the right instructions; which isn't easy, well it is a top Government place. Once they're in, they can bomb the place. The really grand part of the plan for Moriarty, is that he'll be able to say it was all the fault of British government. Terrorists from across the water that shouldn't have been allowed to travel. It should cause no end of bother for your brother.”

“Mycroft will recover, he always does. But why does he want to bomb the Irish Government Buildings? I thought he loved his home country, that's why he had come back here for his return.”

Sam answered, “ Love? No mate, he hates us Irish. I don't know why, something to do with his family I think.”

She stopped when someone walked into the room, closing the door behind them. He came to the wall nearest Sherlock and switched on a light switch. The bulb had no lampshade, and was just in-front of where Sherlock was. Obviously Sherlock's chair had been put it best place for the 100watt bulb to blind him, he blinked as the light hurt his eyes. Now the man was coming towards Sherlock, it was Moriarty, but he'd aged in the last 3 years. Maybe shooting yourself in the mouth did that to you.

“Story-time will have to wait now children. You'll get all information you want at a convenient time Sherlock. Well, convenient for me anyway. It might be far less convenient for you.” Moriarty laughed. “I hope you enjoyed the latest round of our little game. I know I have, even more fun than last time. The great Consulting Detective so depressed that he got himself addicted to pills again. What do your friends make that? or Mummy and Daddy when they hear about it? And they will, I'll make sure it's in the paper obituaries of you. They'll write whatever I, or my partner at-least, tells them to. Nothing you or your precious brother can do to stop it. We haven't made use of our influence on the British media yet, because we wanted everyone to think nothing had changed until the scene had been played and you'd come here. But killing that little reporter when he started to dig around too much is just a small part of what we can do. Then we made sure his boss got fired, he should have known better to give you information. Luckily what he told you just made it easier to catch you.”

Sherlock interrupted “But how did you even know I'd met with the editor of the paper. You should have thought I was still in England.” His head felt like it was about to explode; this didn't make sense; he'd been careful before he'd left, only one person knew what his plan was. Well, his friends seem to have found out, but they wouldn't have told Moriarty or anyone working for him. And Moriarty never made claims he couldn't fulfil, but how had he got all the media onside? They had always hated him quite rightly, this partner must be the one with influence, but who was he?

Moriarty got angry, and put his face right into Sherlock's. “I told you, now isn't the time for stories. We've more fun to have, you and I before that time. Another part of this great game Sherlock.” 

Sherlock could see what looked like a birthmark on Moriarty's forehead. He hadn't had one before had he? Maybe Sherlock had just never been close enough to see it. Or it was a scar, something that had happened since that day on Bart's roof. Now, Moriarty was at Sherlock's left side, he was taking a needle out of his pocket. He ripped Sherlock's shirt sleeve so he could get to the skin. Now Sherlock was actually scared, whatever was in that needle it was going to harm him. Sherlock, put all his energy into turning his body towards Moriarty, it hurt his stomach, but he somehow managed it. He spat in Moriarty's face.

Moriarty wiped his cheek, then slapped Sherlock hard in his face. “What did you think you were going to gain by that you silly boy. Now you are in more pain, don't worry, you won't feel it for long though. Once the crack works in your body, you'll be too high to feel anything. Which means hurting you isn't a punishment for you, just sport for me. So every-time you time to resist your hourly injections, I'll hurt the girl instead. He took a gun out of his pocket, a swipe on the cheek with this should do it.” 

Sherlock looked over at Sam, the first time seen her properly since he'd been focused on Moriarty, since he came in the room and the light above him had been turned on. She looked like a skeleton compared to the photo in the newspaper and her hair was a matted mess and she already had bruises on her arms and face. Right now she looked very frightened, and it was Sherlock's fault. Sure enough, when Moriarty had finished injecting Sherlock, he went over over and hit the gun hard against Sam's cheek. She whimpered, Sherlock thought she did well not to cry.

“I hope these lessons will teach you both to behave. Well, you'll be a good boy anyway Sherlock, it's the only way you'll get more of the drugs you'll soon be craving. But remember, we hardly need this one anymore.” He pointed at Sam. “Her uncle has already given us the information we need to get into the Government Buildings. The instructions for the security system are typed out, I'm sure one of my men will be able to work it out.” He pointed the gun at Sam's head to clarify that he would shoot her then walked out the room. Sherlock saw another figure in the next room as the door was opened, but it couldn't be, the drugs must already be playing tricks on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. If you like it please leave kudos
> 
> If you can give me feedback that would be awesome. Positive feedback is always nice to read and will help me keep writing; negative feedback is also welcome as it helps me improve my writing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Bart's roof - How is Moriaty back? and who is his new business partner?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usual disclaimer:  
> All characters are owned by the BBC / Arthur Conan Doyle apart from a few minor charcters of my own creation
> 
> All Sherlock characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.

It was a week since Moriarty had tied up Sherlock in his cellar, and given him the first injection. He laughed as Sherlock moaned out for more of the drug. Well, he'd get it soon enough, and this one would be special. Today was special, the next part of the plan was going to happen and this was the really fun part. Moriarty knew what it was like to have to care for an younger, irresponsible brother and today he was given more of that agony to Mycroft; if he wasn't already suffering. Moriarty grabbed Sherlock's phone which had been taken from him on the day of his attack, now it would come in useful. 

“Ready?” Moriarty asked the man standing beside him.

“Oh yes, I'm looking forward to this. Can't wait for the great Consulting Detective to see me again.”

 

They walked into the cellar together, switching on the lights as came in. Sherlock was screaming out. 

“Finally, you're late. Injection now.” He his whole body was shaking, the parts weren't tied down anyway. What was left of it, the normally skinny man was now almost skeletal, having had no food for a week. Though Moriarty was more than sure that the lovely Sam would share some of her meager portions with him, if her legs weren't tied to her chair. She needed food in order to play her part and get them into the Government Buildings. Sherlock did not need to be fed, his current feeble body was just what they wanted for today. 

“You don't get to make the demands here. Remember, there are consequence to your actions; you wouldn't want us to hurt the girl would you? I'll let you off this one time, as I know it's only the craving talking and we have to play our fun game today. You'll finally learn a lot of things Sherlock Holmes.”

“I don't care about that. Just give me what you know I need.”

“Oh, I will. We want you high before we start. It adds our pleasure that you won't remember any of it. We're recording it on video, but that isn't for you to watch. It's a last little gift from you to your brother. And we'll let him think he can pay a ransom to save you, but nothing will be enough, and when you have seen him dragged down from his high perch, we'll kill you anyway. First, you've not acknowledged my partner since he came in. Good manners will be awarded with drugs.”

Sherlock looked to the other side of the room and scowled. “But how are you not dead. I killed you.”

The other man laughed “ Let's save that for the video shall we.” He turned on the phone, and came to Sherlock's left side, ready to film while Moriarty injected Sherlock's right side, which already looked like a pin cushion.

Once Sherlock seemed suitably high and out of it. Moriarty's buisnes partner started the video, pointing the phone towards Sherlock, who was laughing and waving his hands. Then he focussed on Moriarty, who started talking.

“Right Mr British Government. As you can see, your brother is quite high. For the last week, since your people, or his, last saw him I've been giving him crack every hour. Just because I could, and it was fun to make the “recovering addict” desperate for drugs again. He needs me, because he needs the drugs. I really do have the upper hand here. Also, it makes the story of Sherlock's overdose a lot easier to give to the press. It is what will happen to him anyway, unless you can come back to me with a good enough offer by the end of the week, and it will have to be good. Don't try and trace the GPS on the phone. We have a technology expert in the UK who sorted that before Sherlock came over here, with his permission.” Moriarty grinned stopping to look at Sherlock.

“You can't, not Billy. I trusted him with everything.” Sherlock said.

Moriarty talked to Sherlock, “and then wondered how we managed to have you followed so easily. Even getting you onto caffeine pills was my idea; he was very easy to bribe actually your friend Billy.” 

Sherlock groaned, shaking his head violently as if he couldn't face the truth. Moriarty just laughed and carried on talking, back to where the phone was pointing now.

Now for an even more shocking revelation; I'm not Jim Moriarty. Oh, I know you Holmes brothers have been convinced he'd managed to survive his death, but unfortunately my brother did die that day.” Moriarty took a deep breath, this was all things which he tried not to talk about, but now he had too. Sherlock and Mycroft had to understand why this was happening. “My name is Jack Moriarty, I'm older than Jim by a couple of years. Even though we look very similar; so much so you hadn't worked out that I wasn't him even though you weren't high the first time you saw me down here.” 

“I knew there was something different, your mark.” Sherlock pointed towards his head and laughed.”

“I swear to God, if you interrupt me one more time, I will shoot the girl, live on video. As I was trying to say; although we look similar, we always had different personalities. Jim was more outgoing, I was more of a planner. Glad to be behind the scenes where very few outside the family knew me. It was always Jim getting into trouble, or coming up with a new plan to make our fortune. Everything changed when Jim was 13 and I was 15. Our Daddy was killed by the IRA, just an innocent bystander to everything, sitting in the wrong pub when it was blown up. The police were worse than useless, so incompetent and far too scared to even talk to anyone who might have been behind it. That was when we realised how corrupt and powerless Ireland had become. Jim was very upset, he started taking out his anger on other children around us, which is why he killed Karl Powers. I knew I had to get him out of Ireland before he needed up in jail. I was already thinking between us, we could probably make the Consulting Criminal thing work. Me picking up the clients, and working out the plans; Jim following through and being the front man. Our mother died a few years after our father, just couldn't be without him. This gave Jim and me the chance to move the UK, and start my plan. My brother was the only one seen out of the flat,we never had people inside, and no need to keep up any acquaintances in Ireland. So soon there were very few people who even knew there were two Moriarty brothers. We recruited those who did know to our network, so they would never choose to spill our secret. Everything about our game, right from the very first time you heard his name, I instigated. I told my brother how to play it whenever you met. He always followed my instructions until that time on Bart's roof. If you had come down together, with you feeling you had the upper hand, I would have found a way out. There is always a way out. But no, my stupid little brother had to go and shoot himself.” Moriarty was shaking now, he was so angry, this is why he didn't talk very much about his dad, or Jim. He could see Sherlock was trying so hard not to laugh now, it was the high that was doing that, but Moriarty still wanted to smash his face in, that would have to wait though, for now he needed to stay in control. “ I always knew you would survive somehow, but I had to let you destroy everything I had built up, let you think you had won. When the time was right, I started the game again, the recording was something my brother had left me as a goodbye present, and I kept it till I knew you were about to be killed, because the game would no fun without you Sherlock. I also had my new partner then. Actually, I think this is where he should take over.” Moriarty clicked his fingers and 4 men came in and picked up Sam in her chair and dragged her to beside Sherlock, facing him. 

The man handed her the phone. “Simple enough to work, if you do lose footage for any reason, your own death and your families will be eminent.” He walked over and joined Moriarty. “Charles Magnuson here, good to be talking to you again Mycroft, I suppose it must be coming as a bit of a shock to you that I'm alive and able to talk. Your brother was certainly surprised when he recognised me a few minutes ago, and not as happy as he looks now, but then he was begging for more crack at the time. Now he's happy we're reunited aren't you Sherlock?”

“Can't talk, boss man threatened to kill Sammie if I talked. Sammie my new friend” Sherlock was giggling after every word.

“Yes, I think that's enough to show your brother your current state of mind.” Magnuson continued. “Now for my story, how did I manage to survive our friend here shooting me? Well, after one attempt on my life a couple of months earlier, I was wearing a bullet proof under-shirt. Very new technology, thin enough to not be noticeable, yet takes enough of the bullet's impact that the wearer only feels a lot of pain. You were all so convinced that I was dead and worried about the repercussions, that you left the scene as quickly as you could. This let my people get me to a private hospital where the doctors had been brought for my use and to keep my secrets a long time ago. As I healed, I knew I would need to one day get revenge on the Holmes brothers. I had already heard rumours that there was still a 'Moriarty' at work, so I found him and we have been working together for a beneficial partnership ever since. The hardest part was convincing Jack here, that he really did need to be the upfront partner for once, as at least Moriarty could resurface. So we started the new plan in Ireland. Why here? You Mycroft will find out soon enough.”

Sherlock interrupts “no no no, tell him now. Tell him or I'll...” 

Magnuson continued.“Now you are getting irritating again Mr Holmes, we are in control here, of what your brother is and isn't told. Finding a pawn to play Moriarty's kidnapped girlfriend, was easy and the lovely Samantha has other qualities as-well, which need to be hidden for now. But don't worry, she is safe, and filming this lovely video for us. It took a while for you to notice our work, but that was fine, because it gave us more time to secure our plan, and to get your brother into the position where he was so dependent on drugs that they were, along with lack of sleep, stopping his mind from being as sharp as it should be and alienating him from his friends. You, Mycroft made that silly reporter pick up the story again, he nearly got too close, and had to be dealt with. But his article had worked perfectly and Sherlock came over here on his own. Got the information he needed to get a useful informative in Samantha's best friend, but she was easily bribed to bring Sherlock to the exact place where we wanted him. Under a dark bridge in the middle of the night, it was very easy for our men to overcome Sherlock and bring him here. And that's the story, not yet concluded, but it will be soon. If you want to see your brother alive again, I suggest you call this number soon, it should be possible to come to some arrangement. Goodbye.”

Moriarty waved towards the phone, and then yanked it off Sam and closed down the camera app.

“See you soon for your next injection Sherlock, don't forget to yell when you need it.” Moriarty said as he turned off the lights and left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. If you like it please leave kudos.
> 
> If you can give me feedback that would be awesome. Positive feedback is always nice to read and will help me keep writing; negative feedback is also welcome as it helps me improve my writing.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock realises how much he needs he friends, and Molly. But is it too late? Or will they be rescued?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usual disclaimer:  
> All characters are owned by the BBC / Arthur Conan Doyle apart from a few minor charcters of my own creation
> 
> All Sherlock characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.

“Thank goodness those nasty men have gone. Now we can talk again.” Sherlock said, laughing just after Moriarty and Magnuson had left the room. “It was so hard to keep all the words in before, I'm usually such a chatterbox when I'm higggggh.”

Sam was in darkness, as she didn't need access to the computer, but Sherlock heard her voice from the other side of the room.

“I've noticed. Somewhere in your brain it must of known to do what they said and I'm glad you did. I really think they would have killed me otherwise. Maybe it would have been better if they had, this place is hell and they are going to kill me in a few days anyway.”

“Sammie, don't talk like that, I don't want you to be sad. We've only known each other a week but, you're such a good friend in a time of need. You're the second most important woman to me, well third counting Mummy.” Sherlock chuckled at his own joke. “Anyway, once my brother receives that video he will find a way. Mycroft is brilliant at finding ways out, that's why he's the British Government. We might not seem close to normal people, but I do love him and he loves me, which is why I trust he'll know what to do here. He'll get us both out, promise. Molly is probably still around in Ireland as well, she knows exactly how to help me. She's saved me from my death before and she'll do it again and we will be reunited. Have I told you about my Molly?”

“Yes, but carry on, we need to talk about something happy in this place.”

“She's so beautiful, inside and out. Most people don't notice her, she quiet and happy in the background. But when you get to know her, she is so generous and kind. She's the only woman who could put up with all my mess. I spent years not noticing her, or pretending not too, because I thought someone like me would only damage someone like her. I didn't realise how tough she could be when she needed to. She is the only reason I didn't die falling off Bart's roof. And when I came back, I wanted to get to know Molly better, but she had moved on and was engaged. Even after they'd split I felt like I didn't want to change things between us. I never needed romance and I guess I was still thinking Molly was too good for me, which she really is. When we became a couple a little while ago, I did it for all the wrong reasons and broke her heart because I didn't think I needed friends. Don't ever think that Sammie, to have other people in your life, helping you, is the most important thing ever. If anyone ever tries to separate you from your friends you ask yourself why? Do they have some motive for wanting you alone? After-all this Molly still followed me out here, she'll never give up on me. And I'll never give up on her again, I'm not sure if I will ever be able to tell her how much she means to me. I'm not usually this talkative, it's the lovely Cocaine that's talking for me. But if I can't tell her I will spend the rest of my life showing Molly Hooper how special she is, if I get the chance.” Sherlock now seemed close to tears.

“Hey, you were the one who told me we were definitely going to get out of here, remember? Your brilliant brother who always finds a way out, and the gorgeous Molly, who will do anything to save you.” Sam said.

Sherlock tried to wipe his face in-case there had been tears, forgetting his hands were tied.  
“Yes, she'll find a way to save me again. Probably won't be long now. Maybe tomorrow or the next day, I can' wait to see her face again, and for you to meet her.”

Suddenly there was the sound of shouting and fighting outside the room, Sherlock couldn't make out what was being said but maybe just maybe their rescuers were here.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  


As two of the security men forced the door down Molly ran into the dark room. She could just make out where the light switch nearest the door was, and switched it on. Then she ran over to Sherlock. “Are you okay? What have they done to you?” Molly knew she was close to tears as she saw Sherlock tied to the chair, his body shaking. How much drugs had he been injected with? She needed to be strong, she thought as she started to untie him.

“No, no. Sammie first. She's more important than me. She's been Moriarty's punch bag, when he wanted to punish me, he hit Sammie. I feel no pain when high, just happiness.” Sherlock had a big grin on his face, it made him look even cuter than normal and would have made Molly smile, if she hadn't known it was the Crack flowing through his system that was making him smile like that. She was so mad for Sherlock, he'd spent ages not giving into the cravings for Crack he still got, and now thanks to Moriarty he was back at stage 1.

“It's okay love, she's got other people looking after her. You're my main concern” Molly blushed, that 'love' had just come out, the tension of not knowing if she'd see Sherlock again, followed by the relief when Mycroft message had come through. But now wasn't the time, they still had so much to sort out between them.

Sherlock tried to grip Molly hand, but his hand was too weak, “Love you too. Just telling Sammie how much. Sorry I've never been able to tell you. Amazing what these drugs can make me reveal though, I like them.” 

“No you don't, you hate them, remember? Sherlock if you stay addicted to Crack, then Moriarty will have won. He'll have ruined and almost certainly shortened your life. I can't even be your friend if you stay on these drugs.” 

“Yes, but I feel so happy when I'm high. For you, my Molly, I will stop taking this caffeine pills, as for the Crack, I don't know if I can do it, but I don't want to lose you.”

Molly wiped away a tear from eye. “Then Sherlock you will get totally clean. It's the only way we can be together. John, Mary, me, everyone you know will help you. Remember, staying on the Crack is letting Moriarty win.

“Moriarty isn't going to win this game. Where is he and ugly Magnuson anyway. I'm sure you know he's back too. It was the two of them working together.”

“Yes, Mycroft told me when he phoned. We captured both of them, there were about 50 of us. Not hard to capture 6 bodyguards and two geniuses . They're both in the police van now, but heavily guarded.”

Sherlock laughed. “Good, good. But how did you find us? My phone was meant to be untraceable. That was bloody Billy by the way, setting me up for ages. I was an idiot wasn't I?”

“Yes, you were. Luckily, you have friends that look out for you, even you don't deserve it. Remember the last time we met? On that park bench, I had to get you out of mind-palace. Well before I did, I took your phone to see if there were any messages or phone numbers that could help me keep a track on you, if you pushed me away. I noticed your GPS was off, so I turned it back on. I suppose no-one thought this morning to check it really was off.”

“My Molly, saving my life again.” Sherlock said as more men came rushing into the room, Mycroft made his way over to Sherlock and Molly.

“Is he okay?” He asked Molly.

“He did have strong ties round his hand, feet, and stomach, and doesn't look like he's been fed in the last week, but no other physical injuries. He is very high at the moment, but has already agreed to come off the caffeine pills, and I'm sure I can talk him into coming off the Crack.”

“I've already sorted out a rehab place for him, outside London but near my parents. He won't have a choice.”

Sherlock yelled. “Mycroft no! We've tried before, rehab doesn't work for me, especially not if it's the same place you dumped me in last time. I need my friends around me, they can help me get clean.”

“We do have a plan Mycroft. Sherlock will stay with me, or I will move into Baker street. So I can look out for him in the evenings and at weekends, and Mary will be there full time during working hours. I know it won't be easy, but together we can do it. I agree with Sherlock, being supported by his friends gives him a higher chance of recovery than a rehab centre he doesn't want to go to.”

Mycroft frowned “Well, we can sort out the details later, we need to get you to the hospital first, Miss Boyle is already in an ambulance.”

Molly took Sherlock's left side, and put her other arm around him, Mycroft took the right side and they got him to the Ambulance. Molly knew she had Sherlock back now, they would convince Mycroft he was better in London. She would convince Sherlock he was better without the drugs, and in time they would have the relationship that had been a fantasy for Molly for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> If you enjoyed it please leave kudos.
> 
> If you can give me feedback that would be awesome. Positive feedback is lovely to read and helps motivate me to keep writing; Don't worry about leaving constructive criticism feedback, I aprreciate it as it helps me improve.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue 4 months later  
> A nice evening in Baker Street, with Sherlock cooking!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usual disclaimer:  
> All characters are owned by the BBC / Arthur Conan Doyle apart from a few minor charcters of my own creation
> 
> All Sherlock characters are based on the BBC Sherlock version, and sometimes my interpretation of this. They may defer from the original Arthur Conan Doyle characters they were based on.

Molly came in to the smell of bolognese cooking. Mary must have gotten Sherlock to help her to fix supper. She hadn't asked them to and there was a casserole in the fridge that needed using up, but that could wait until tomorrow. She'd be appreciative of the effort her friends were going to. And it was good experience for Sherlock. She couldn't believe it when she realised he really couldn't cook anything and had started, along with Mary to change that. He seemed to actually enjoy it, although of-course he'd never admit that.

“Hi guys, it smells great.” Molly said as she walked into the kitchen, slightly surprised to see Mary sitting down at the table. Sherlock was over a pan of sauce, stirring it.

“Hi Molly. Yes, it does, wish I was going to eat it. All his own work as well. Found the recipe this morning, and told me this is what he wanted to make your meal. I've just been sitting here, looking over the recipe to check Sherlock knows what he's doing, but he's not needed much help at all.”

“Hey, that's amazing Sherlock, and it really does look yummy.” Molly went over and tried to give Sherlock a kiss on the cheek, but he pushed her away with his free hand. “Bad timing I know, but I'm just so proud of you.” She went back to sit by Mary, out of the chef's way.

“There looks like there's going to be lots, do you and John want to join us?”

“I'd like to, but someone has had a long day and will need their bed soon. I should probably get Lilly home too. Seriously, I know John was looking forward to a quiet night in, another time though.” Mary walked to the next room, picked up her coat and bag and left.

Sherlock turned and looked at Molly.“I know what I'm doing, I've already completed the complicated parts of the recipe, but it won't be ready for a while. Enough time for you to have a quick shower.”

“I don't mind sitting here Sherlock, just in-case you need help.” Molly replied

“I won't and your distracting me. A nice distraction, but that's what I don't need.”

“Okay, I'll go. But if you need me yell.” Molly was unsure about this, but Sherlock seemed determined that he didn't need her help so she left the room.

 

She came back half and hour later and the table was set, and the food was ready.

“This looks amazing.” Sherlock said as she served herself and sat down. 

“I hope it tastes good. I'm still unsure of my cooking skills. Well, you know how bad I used to be. But I really wanted to do this for you, to show you I could. And because I appreciate all you have done to get me to this point. I know a lot of it was outside of your comfort zone, so I wanted to do something that was outside of mine.”

Molly smiled. “It wasn't that bad Sherlock, you've done the hard work yourself. I think you've done brilliantly to get here. Even when you have cravings, you're resisting them.” She noticed how Sherlock was suddenly very interested in his plate of food. He was probably struggling now, she'd just gone and made it worse. Well she'd follow his example and enjoy the food for now, but she'd talk to him about it later.

Molly picked up a mouthful of food and ate it. She quickly gulped down the glass of water beside her. “Um Sherlock, how much chilli did you put in here?”

“Well the recipe said teaspoon of chilli powder, but that didn't seem enough, especially for Spicy Bolognaise, so I put in the whole tablespoon. I have to say I like mine.”

“It's just a little bit spicier than I'm used to, I'll add some more cheese, it'll be fine.” Molly replied, trying not to laugh as she reached for the bowl of cheese. 

 

After they had cleared the dishes, they had slumped into their usual chairs.

“So shall we switch the boring box on, or do you want more tedious small talk first?” Sherlock asked.

“I want to know how you're feeling, or were earlier today. When I mentioned cravings you seemed to react. You have to tell me when they hit, so I know to help you.” She went over and squeezed his hand, but Sherlock shook it off.

“No need for extra affection. Yes, I had a craving this morning, it started last night really. But I resisted, I'm finding ways to be strong enough. The cooking helps actually.”

“So that's what tonight was about? Putting your energy into something to help you resist cravings. Good for you, I'm proud of you for finding ways of coping. But remember you don't have to do it on your own. Mary and John will do what they can to help. As for me, we're a couple now, a team, I want to help you resist all your cravings, but I need you to keep being honest with me.” She gave him a quick hug and moved back to her chair.

“I'm not used to talking about these things, I usually find a way on my own. But I suppose now that I'm part of a couple as you put it, I should try and inform you earlier when I'm struggling.” Sherlock reached for the remote, obviously deciding to was better have the TV on then let Molly continue with any kind of deep conversation. That was fine, he'd told her about his craving, without too much questioning, and he was working so hard to beat them. They were doing well, as a couple. She saw Sherlock about to click on the latest episode of EastEnders on their planner.

“Thank you Sherlock, if you promise to try and tell me when you're struggling, I'll try not to ask you about it all the time. And you cooked the meal, so why don't we watch one of your programs for a change.” She asked

“There's another episode of of your soap on later, you need to see this one first. I'll go to my mind palace, and not constantly tell the characters how stupid they're being. It's fine, I'm fine now honestly.”

“I'll catch both episodes another time. Honestly I'm in the mood for some Doctor Who tonight, and I know you're recording all those classic episodes, we shouldn't let them build up too much on the planner anyway.”

Sherlock grinned as he found the next Doctor Who episode and pressed play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, the story has finished, I've compleated a full piece of fanafiction. Thank you to everyone who has been reading this since the beggining, everyone who has left Karma, or commented, and those who have bookmarked or subscribed. I hope you all enjoyed the story.  
> If you did enjoy it please leave kudos, if you aready have left kudos, thank you again
> 
> If you can give me feedback that would be awesome. Positive feedback is lovely to read and helps motivate me to keep writing; Don't worry about leaving constructive criticism feedback, I aprreciate it as it helps me improve. Again thank you for all the comments already recieved espeically @sfmpco


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